People who FU your life

April 20, 2014

2013-12-18 16.34.15My first response to this book title was this:

No one else can muck up your life–only you can do that.

And that’s what I believe. Because any time my life has been mucked up, well, I’m the one who’s done it. And a pretty good job of it, usually.

It always surprises me when people don’t own their stuff and have to look outside themselves for blame.

Life is a multiple choice exam and picking response (a) can send us down a completely different path than response (b) or (c). The choice of response is ours, no one else’s.

That holds true for almost everything.  It’s easy to blame someone else. What’s more difficult–and more useful–is to look within and ask, what choices did I make to bring me to this point? How am I responsible for this?

It would be so much more useful to find a book called “Notes to myself when I f uck up my life.”

In fact, it would be extremely useful for us to write it, no?

For me, a big chapter would be “You could’ve seen this coming if you hadn’t closed your eyes, so why are you surprised?”

If you wrote a book to yourself about your FUs, what might it say?

 

17 comments on “People who FU your life
  1. I’m with you. We all make our own choices and need to own the results. A big “should have seen that one coming” for me were all the crazy men I chose to date in my 20’s. Boy, if I’d only paid attention to what was right in front of me, but I was so caught up in the drama that I went on with several relationships way too long. By the way, I agree – good idea for a book!

  2. Laura says:

    I saw this title and the first thing I thought: “Oh that would be easy, where’s the SASE?” The title of my book:

    “Get a Prenup”

  3. Carol Graham says:

    My memoir, Battered Hope, is exactly that. My first title was going to be Bad Choices! Twelve chapters of at least 12 traumas- mostly as a result of bad choices. However, if I could do it over,given the surrounding circumstances I don’t know if I could have done it any differently — but I still take full responsibility for the choices I made.

    Carol @ Battered Hope

  4. Laura Kennedy says:

    “Whatever. You’re here. Now, how to get somewhere better?”

  5. Karen @BakingInATornado says:

    Although I agree that we do all make choices, I also know that sometimes we make those choices out of reaction to actions or events that are out of our control. I do (well, sometimes) take responsibility for my own actions, but there have been times when I absolutely would have enjoyed taking a tear-out letter from that book and sending it on its way.

  6. If Not This, Then That: The Way The Choices You Make Give You the Life You’re Meant to Have & How to Enjoy It.

  7. I totally agree Carol! People need to stand up and own their shit! People have all sort of life changing traumas, or lifestyles but no matter you make out of it what you want. I have noticed lately that not many people are content being who they are! I know you should always strive to the best you that is possible but you should also appreciate the good things you have accomplished as well as saying you know what I screwed up big time!

  8. Mary Fletcher says:

    I agree with you! Mine would have to include, “Are you really sure about this choice?”, about a hundred times.

  9. Kim Diaz says:

    Just try your hardest not to ever do that again, or at least not this week……..

  10. Personal responsibility is woefully missing in my kids generation the 20-30 year olds. Everyone and everything is to blame. Entitlement is rampant. What I always is say is, “Let’s say you’re absolutely right, your life is totally screwed up and its your parents fault. Now what? What are you going to do about it?” There’s no excuse to not live the best life you can and with all the information we have and the opportunities at our fingertips…we’ve got it a lot better than our grandparents and parents did.

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Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.

 

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