Why you don’t need anyone’s permission to grow

June 30, 2023

When a friend posted this I recognized immediately the useful truth it contained.

“Not everyone who started with you will finish with you.”

Yes, that is the way of the world.  Not everyone grows at the same rate. Or, for that matter, at all.

Some of us are more apt to blame ourselves for these discontinuities in the way people are than to see what’s right in front of our faces.

People we’ve known a long time can act in ways we don’t understand.  It’s not necessarily us.

Sometimes, you have to leave others behind because the price of waiting for them is too great.

Sometimes they just don’t want to go where you’re going. Or are clueless that it’s even possible. Or are just clueless. Some people are mean or cruel. Some just don’t get it and never will. I’ve seen all this in my very interesting life. And I’ve learned this:

You don’t need anyone’s permission to grow.

Here’s what I want to say today: Forge your own path. If people come along with you, that’s great, but it’s not necessary. If you’re tempted to stop to see if they’ll come along, be prepared for them to not. Even if it seems like they might. Because if they could, they’d already be on your path.

Not everyone who started with you will finish with you.

And that’s the truth.

My friend also posted this related quote by Carl Jung today: The most dangerous psychological mistake is the projection of the shadow on to others. This is the root of almost all conflicts. Ah, that old bugaboo, PROJECTION. We forget about that! Definitely related and food for thought.

I’m writing (and posting) this from the Arctic Sea, where we’re headed to Norway and where today, we watched an amazing mid-air, mid-sea helicopter evacuation of a sick passenger.  I’d hoped this would be a post about our incredible cruise through Scotland to Norway but there’s not enough bandwidth for me to get the fabulous photos uploaded. So any posts with spectacular images will have to wait til I’m home.

10 comments on “Why you don’t need anyone’s permission to grow
  1. Meryl says:

    Enjoy your trip. Sounds fabulous and the landscape – and seascape – must be awesome. Can’t wait for pictures!

  2. Laurie Stone says:

    I’ve felt that feeling of diverging with good, longtime friends. You both have changed, but not necessarily together. And yet, a friendship still remains, which is nice.

  3. Diane says:

    Such a profound truth, Carol! Thank you for this today!
    P.S. I am SO enjoying the pictures of your trip thus far!

  4. Sounds like an amazing trip. I don’t know how many times people have told me to get a real job. We all do our own thing in our own time.

  5. Jennifer says:

    I have moved away from “friends” who didn’t grow or is that grow up?

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