Or more appropriately, is there a problem with porn?
Yes, for those of us still around and not in a post-Christmas coma, let’s get right to the nitty gritty.
I remember clearly the first time I saw Madonna prancing around in provocative lingerie on MTV. It was the mid-1980s and my immediate thought was this:
If this is what boys are being exposed to now, what’s it going to take for them to get aroused when they’re older?
And in fact, it DOES take more and more. When there are no dress codes for school, when teenage girls can bare their midriffs or wear tiny shorts in class, well, boys can’t help but get used to that. It’s an everyday thing and over time, is less arousing.
At the same time, internet porn is at every kid’s fingertips. There’s no real control except for parental control. And we all know how much of that goes on (or fails to go on). Some really edgy stuff is available. Dark stuff.
Back in my day, radical feminists like the late Andrea Dworkin and Gail Dines ardently opposed pornography. They believed it is harmful to women and facilitates violence against women. Anti-porn activists say that there is physical, psychological, and/or economic coercion of porn actresses and that porn is a byproduct of a patriarchal system.
The issue is confused by the emergence of porn actresses like Nina Hartley who call themselves sex-positive, do not see themselves as victims of sexism or anything else and may even act in and produce what they call “feminist porn” that presents images different from mainstream pornography.
There’s disagreement, too, over what is pornography and what is erotica, with some saying pornography focuses on dominance issues and erotica on mutuality.
So much noise around this issue. But it’s the wrong issue.
The real issue in porn and even in prostitution, is exploitation.
When anyone is being exploited, it’s just wrong.
But assuming it isn’t dark, no one is exploited and only consenting adults are involved……
If an adult wants to view pornography, why shouldn’t they?
And then there’s the issue of porn addiction. Should we treat porn any differently than, say, food or alcohol? Which are also addictive for some people?
I have had to sit my teenage son down and have a very awkward conversation about reality vs. fantasy. All females are not bald from the neck down. Not all of a females anatomy is manicured to perfection. Not all males are blessed with ten inches , Theres a very rare occasion anybody is lasting an hour. Basically I told him that if thats what he thought the sexual experiance was then he was in for a whole bunch of disappointment. Too much of anything is never good , including porn. If porn is consuming ones life they will never fing gratification in the real world. I have no problem with porn , legal above board regulated porn. If a women chooses this as a means of earning I’m all for it. If used within reasonability porn can be a nice addition to the toy box.
My mother was a whore. I was exposed to way too much before I was old enough to understand any of it. As a result, I’m probably the most anti-porn person you will ever meet. I’m sure my sons were exposed to it growing up, and I know my husband had a slight addiction to it for a while. For me it seems to be about exploitation and I feel nothing good comes from that.
b
If some one wants to get paid to do all kinds of ludicrous stuff on film I wouldn’t really call it being exploited. The morality of it can be debated by people much smarter than me, but it isn’t going anywhere and it’s up to parents to teach the children the difference between fantasy and real life.
My concern is with the younger generation that has had porn available to them since such a young age. I worry that they will struggle with healthy sexual relationships.
I’ve had many patients that were sex workers and I also think that even if it’s a choice, it is a toxic one that impacts lives forever.
Here in the UK we do have strict school uniform dress codes from the age of 4 to 18. A lot of people do rebel against uniforms but it does mean that all the children are dressed respectfully and appropriately.
Having spent so many years in northern Europe, I suppose my attitude reflects the pragmatism that prostituion and pornography are treated with here. Without going into a diatribe about the shits and giggles nature of adult sexuality one often encounters in the states, I have to say that sex workers that have regular salaries, six weeks vacation and a safe workplace have a place in society. American society is overtly sexual. Northern European society isn’t, although prostitution is legal in most of these countries. That’s a bit of a generalization, but there’s truth in it.
Porn, the way that I see it, is very dangerous. If a man or woman looks at porn and is in a relationship, it essentially sends the message that his girlfriend/wife or her boyfriend/husband is not enough. Her/ his mind and beauty are not enough to fulfill his/ her needs. I believe it is even dangerous for single individuals to engage in looking at porn because it is not realistic and apparently addicting. How easy would it be to slip back into looking at it when your significant other is not pleasing you in the way you want? I believe you should reserve your eyes for your wife/husband.
There are girls doing it to pay for college, but then there are other girls, particularly foreign ones, who are exploited and sometimes underage. To me it’s a sad industry. I suppose there are some who actually love it, but I would guess it’s an unhappy existence for most.
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Or more appropriately, 
I have had to sit my teenage son down and have a very awkward conversation about reality vs. fantasy. All females are not bald from the neck down. Not all of a females anatomy is manicured to perfection. Not all males are blessed with ten inches , Theres a very rare occasion anybody is lasting an hour. Basically I told him that if thats what he thought the sexual experiance was then he was in for a whole bunch of disappointment. Too much of anything is never good , including porn. If porn is consuming ones life they will never fing gratification in the real world. I have no problem with porn , legal above board regulated porn. If a women chooses this as a means of earning I’m all for it. If used within reasonability porn can be a nice addition to the toy box.
My mother was a whore. I was exposed to way too much before I was old enough to understand any of it. As a result, I’m probably the most anti-porn person you will ever meet. I’m sure my sons were exposed to it growing up, and I know my husband had a slight addiction to it for a while. For me it seems to be about exploitation and I feel nothing good comes from that.
b
I honestly believe that porn tears families apart and our world needs to fight anything anti-family.
If some one wants to get paid to do all kinds of ludicrous stuff on film I wouldn’t really call it being exploited. The morality of it can be debated by people much smarter than me, but it isn’t going anywhere and it’s up to parents to teach the children the difference between fantasy and real life.
My concern is with the younger generation that has had porn available to them since such a young age. I worry that they will struggle with healthy sexual relationships.
I’ve had many patients that were sex workers and I also think that even if it’s a choice, it is a toxic one that impacts lives forever.
Here in the UK we do have strict school uniform dress codes from the age of 4 to 18. A lot of people do rebel against uniforms but it does mean that all the children are dressed respectfully and appropriately.
Having spent so many years in northern Europe, I suppose my attitude reflects the pragmatism that prostituion and pornography are treated with here. Without going into a diatribe about the shits and giggles nature of adult sexuality one often encounters in the states, I have to say that sex workers that have regular salaries, six weeks vacation and a safe workplace have a place in society. American society is overtly sexual. Northern European society isn’t, although prostitution is legal in most of these countries. That’s a bit of a generalization, but there’s truth in it.
Porn, the way that I see it, is very dangerous. If a man or woman looks at porn and is in a relationship, it essentially sends the message that his girlfriend/wife or her boyfriend/husband is not enough. Her/ his mind and beauty are not enough to fulfill his/ her needs. I believe it is even dangerous for single individuals to engage in looking at porn because it is not realistic and apparently addicting. How easy would it be to slip back into looking at it when your significant other is not pleasing you in the way you want? I believe you should reserve your eyes for your wife/husband.
There are girls doing it to pay for college, but then there are other girls, particularly foreign ones, who are exploited and sometimes underage. To me it’s a sad industry. I suppose there are some who actually love it, but I would guess it’s an unhappy existence for most.