If you’re like me, you never really relax, because you’re always feeling guilty about what you should be doing and are not doing.
My name is Carol and I suffer from procrastination.
Remember that feeling on Sunday night before school or work began again on Monday? Yeah, that one. I am so aware that I still have it more often than I’d like to and it’s not associated with a day of the week. It’s almost always floating in the background.
Oh wait, you think it’s because I’m too busy? No. Well, maybe I am: busy worrying about what I’m not doing.
Part of it is that I am a huge procrastinator. Case in point: I’ve known for a year that my passport is expiring in August. My husband reminded me weekly about renewing it. It was on my To-Do list for months. And I didn’t do it ’til push came to shove and Viking wanted the number so we could finalize our booking for next spring’s cruise to Portugal. Oh, I got the new passport photo done. I just didn’t finalize the application and send it in. It was easy to put it off because we weren’t going to leave the country soon.
It’s a little thing, but it was like a program running in the background of my brain. It took a lot of RAM, too.
I know that dumping those little, nagging tasks by actually getting them done, would help me relax.
Now, you’re going to tell me to make a list, set a timer or some other method you use successfully to be more organized and productive, and I’m going to tell you that I know every single one of them. And none of them work if you don’t do them. Because there’s nothing that motivates us off the couch, away from social media, to turn off Netflix or to check off our To Do list except our own desire to get things done.
More than ever, though, I’ve become aware of the weight of my To Do list and am finding ways to make some progress on those little nagging tasks that bog down my ability to relax. Can you really relax when you know you haven’t done… you name it?
Have you been in this position? Or are you someone who is inexorably organized? Is there a 12-step for people like me?
I’m looking for your thoughts on this. Thank you!