I was talking with a younger woman the other day about the very subject of aggression. Of pushing for closure of any kind just to eliminate ambiguity, whether it is in relationships or in career matters.

We read a lot about how we create our own reality. This can range from positive thinking and affirmations intended to create a better life, to the far edge, where it’s maintained that we choose our own parents in some sort of strange, other-worldly way.

How much of what happens is fate, destiny, pre-ordained? and how much do we create ourselves? Does The Secret always work?

Have we taken this “we create our own destiny” thing too far?

There’s no question that we make choices. From that standpoint, we do influence the outcome. And sometimes that requires some aggression.

I’m all for aggression. But it has a time and a place. It even has a technique.

I’m wondering if the younger generation feels undue pressure to constantly mold and form their lives, even before they have enough raw material to generate a useful outcome.

And so, like in poker, they sometimes wield the tool of aggression before they’ve learned how to use it?

and when?

I’ve been there myself.

Maybe the purpose of being an elder is to share with younger women some of the lessons learned, painfully, from our own mistakes.

I don’t want to call my generation of women “crones” just yet. We’ll be there soon enough. But that word has a positive connotation in women’s circles, having to do with wisdom borne of age.

But I like this idea of sharing.