Quacks like a duck? Yeah, it’s crazy.

May 28, 2014

white duckIf it looks like crazy

acts like crazy

seems like crazy

Rest assured.

It’s crazy.

Crazy people act out. Is there someone in your family, among your friends or at work that’s acting out? Are you blaming yourself?

Do not think it is your fault. A duck being a duck has nothing to do with you. Same with crazy.

cat head on duck feet

Do not waste time wishing things were different. They aren’t. A duck is always going to be a duck. It can never be, say, a cat.

Understanding this can be liberating to a degree that you can only imagine.

No more wasting time bemoaning the impossible.

A duck is a duck is a duck.

And crazy?

It’s crazy.

This is a corollary to the adage: when someone tells you who they are, believe them.

Because crazy is plain as day.

I’ve always been way ahead of the curve when it comes to noticing “crazy.”  My “cray-dar” pings instantly.

When I say “crazy” I’m not talking about garden-variety mental illness. I’m talking about the kind of crazy that attempts to destroy others in their own self-interest.

For years I’ve been watching a crazy person act out. Repeatedly. Hurting people all around.  And no one says a word, even people with apparent clout. People whose reputations are being tarnished this very minute.

Yeah, crazy is crazy. When you see it? Steer clear. No matter what it takes.

It’s not contagious. But it stinks up the room.

The bloom was off that rose long ago.

The bloom was off that rose long ago.

  I won’t call you out directly. But I’ve watched you try to ruin the lives of others.

Fortunately, I prevented you from ruining mine by being more clever than you. At least in this one instance. But you tried. You did.

 I used to have compassion for you, but given the number of bodies you’ve left in your wake, everything you’ve destroyed, or tried to destroy, I don’t any longer.  I’d like to. But I don’t. It’s hard to access compassion now, although I know I should.

I do pray that you get help.

So, dear readers, here’s the thing:  Women, especially, tend to moan, “What did I do wrong? Why is he doing this?”

Many women go directly to “it’s my fault.”

I’m here to tell you that you do not have to own what is not yours to own.

It’s not always about you.

It’s not your fault.

Sometimes people are just batshit crazy.

And that is a fact.

33 comments on “Quacks like a duck? Yeah, it’s crazy.
  1. Ryder Ziebarth says:

    This post came at an excellent time. I have lived with crazy for 25 years. The 12 steps and their so wise mottos have helped me tremendously. Let it begin With Me, How Important is it, and Let Go and Let God, have allowed me to KNOW it isn’t me. It is how I survive and look for the good.
    Thanks for posting.

  2. Joy brown says:

    Love this post today!!! It is so very true!!! Thanks!

  3. kim tackett says:

    You got it! that reminds me of something I wrote yesterday, “something was broken, and it wasn’t me.” Sometimes you just have to step away. I hope you have peace with crazy, or at least a space where you can feel peace.

  4. big step here acknowledging that batshit craziness is not MY fault cause i take the blame for everything… hahaha!

    so seriously, how awesome you are. xo

  5. I lived with a bi polar man for 19 years. It’s amazing when you take crazy out of your life, how sane it quickly gets.

  6. So true Carol! You gave me a funny and wise reminder to just stay away from that drama and crazy. And the better you get at it….they better you get at it! ~Kathy

  7. Ruth Curran says:

    A couple of things hit me. First, I respectful disagree with your statement that crazy is not contagious — I believe it is if we let it. Entirely too easy to get sucked down the rabbit hole. We just need to remain aware and maybe hyper-intentional (if that is a thing) when dealing with severe, manipulative brands of crazy!

    Second, you used my all time favorite expression – bat shit crazy. I honestly think there should be a diagnostic code actually listed in the DSM-IV (the bible used by therapists to classify and differentiate types of mental illness). I am not sure that would be well received, publicly at least, at APA!

  8. Diane says:

    Carol, I can always count on you to be wise, concise and succinct. Excellent post! I’ve know BSC people myself. My only solution: Get off the tracks and out of the way!

  9. Laurel Regan says:

    This is a corollary to the adage: when someone tells you who they are, believe them.

    Oh yes. I continue to learn that lesson.

  10. Donna says:

    like barnacles in fresh water they just fall off as time goes by….my list of crazy people was pretty long a while back, now I am the only crazy person left on the list…no room for more crazies. And life is so much better

  11. I’m one of those women who have always said, it must be MY fault. Great post. I needed it today.

  12. Spooky, the timing of your posts. Spooky. Thank you.

  13. Haralee says:

    Trauma/drama and bat shit crazy happens in friendships and in families too. The cat picture sort of freaks me out!

  14. That is so definitely true! There are some people in this world who are hell-bent on taking everyone around them down with them. They come in like a cancer and poison everything and everyone around them. I know a person in my life like this and I have done everything possible to keep them from hurting the ones that I love the most. Nobody sees it but I do and it is scary.

  15. Lana says:

    When I meet people like this, I try to remind myself that I can’t change them. I try to stay away 🙂

  16. Whenever I meet someone who fits your description, I try to remember what Oprah said: “When you see crazy, cross the street!”

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