Why are you doing this, again?

May 26, 2017


I’m on my way back from France today….

“Why are you doing this, again?” asked a friend, when we were discussing all the work that had gone into A Healing Spirit.

It’s a valid question. I am, after all, 65 years old. I was retired, mostly. I don’t have to work. So why would I invest substantial time, money, effort and heart into a new venture at this age?

Sometimes you hear a voice and recognize it as a sacred calling. Does that sound silly?

Here’s the truth: I’m an unlikely person to have anything called “sacred” because I’ve always destroyed sacred cows.  Until recently, nothing was ever sacred to me, but now, everything is sacred. Even this calling. Especially this calling.

My mother died almost 20 years ago (how is it possible that so much time has gone by?) and the following year I had a dream I remember all too vividly.  In it my mother appeared, looked directly at me and in a very stern and admonishing tone she said:

“Carol, you are not a very spiritual person.”

It decimated me. Destroyed me. I can still feel the impact of her accusation, like someone had stabbed me in my heart with a knife. Dream or not, it was a strange thing for her to say, because she really wasn’t all that spiritual. Strange also that it hit me so hard because at that time in my life, spirituality was barely a blip on my radar.

Healing-SpiritIt started all those years ago

But of course, it was my mother’s death that set me off on a wild and wooly spiritual journey, a quest that’s taken me and my open mind down some seriously non-traditional paths. Death tends to do that to the people it leaves behind. I’d already spent a dozen years as a volunteer emotional support person for people with HIV. Death was no stranger, but it, and long illnesses that often preceded it had become objects of curiosity and maybe even fear. Yes, fear.

And then my father died and began appearing to me. Unexpected and not my usual experience. I didn’t even recognize his contacts at first. Right after that, a close friend was diagnosed with a cancer and I was privileged to walk by her side as she fought a long and brave battle with it.  It was during one of her hospitalizations at Stanford that the idea for this business was born.

She and I talked about it and she even used some of the materials. She wanted me to go forward with my ideas and believed they would be a big help to people in need of healing.  And then, just over a year ago, I stood at the foot of her bed as her heart beat for the last time in this life.

Giverny, France

More life–and death–inspired me

Her life, her courageous battle and her death, and all the loved ones for whom I was a loving presence during their final weeks and years, they all served as catalysts for my business. You might say I was guided and inspired by the love I have for them all. And so, my business was born of that sacred calling.

It’s a business that supports healing. Physical healing. Spiritual healing. Emotional healing.

Healing. For those who suffer chronic pain, grief, anxiety, serious diseases and for those undergoing chemotherapy or other treatment.

My products and services are not ingested. They cure nothing. Treat nothing. But my materials and services are meant to be used to support healing. If a patient is getting medical treatment, everything I offer can be a big help. If someone’s grieving, there’s something to help. Chronic pain and anxiety? That, too.

This business, this sacred calling, is the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life and I’m so happy to share A Healing Spirit with you HERE.

Oh, and my mother? I think she’d say something different if she appeared in a dream today, don’t you? And I’ve dedicated this book to her.



58 comments on “Why are you doing this, again?
  1. Carol, something this important to you was definitely worth investing your time and energy into. If you felt it was a need, then it will certainly be scooped up by the people who really need it. I’ve been fortunate to have almost all my close family and friends escape death so far, but it happens to us all – and resources like yours will be invaluable to those left behind.

  2. I’ve found that the people who are so freely able to criticize are those who really have no business doing it at all. None of us know anyone else’s story, what they need, or what they might find.

  3. Bill Sweeney says:

    When something really speaks to you – really grabs hold – you have to go for it no matter what. I’m glad you’ve embraced this calling and are moving forward every day to be the best you can be for yourself and the world around you.

  4. Its good that you feel the calling has given you a new dimension in your life, I hope it brings you much contentment with in.

  5. Neha says:

    People who care about you will always be there with you, so, even it’s after death too. There point was correct,spirituality leads your soul to the correct path, at last nothing but the soul will be left to wander. Let’s feed our souls more than stomachs.
    It was heart touching.

  6. Vera Sweeney says:

    You have to be you, wherever that takes you. And anyone who isn’t you needs to stay out of it. I love your blog and your spirit!

  7. Michelle Waller says:

    I went through something similar when my grandma passed away. People either need to support you for you, and if they can’t they need to go somewhere else.

  8. First of all I had no idea you were 65. The older I get the more I cherish everything. I guess this is older and wiser. I think you can start a new venture at any age and if this makes you happy then I’m in your corner!

  9. Tara Pittman says:

    It is amazing how death can inspire us to help others. Keep doing what you love.

  10. Barbara says:

    I know your new venture gives you pleasure, hope, and energy to make a difference in people’s lives. It is worthy of it all.

  11. Cheryl says:

    This is beautiful. It brings to mind the quote: “Do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” I really believe that is true. When we give of ourselves, we get so much more in return. I think what you are doing is amazing and wonderful. I admire you very much. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

  12. Sapana V says:

    Really a great thought. It is necessary to be productive at this age.

  13. Jeni says:

    What an impressive and wonderful story to share with the word. Courage comes in many different forms, and sometimes it’s when we are in our darkest hours that it shines the brightest. Keep being yourself, and the world will love you.

  14. Jen T says:

    It is always a good time to give blessings to the world and I believe that older and wiser gives a great deal to offer from experience and perspective. Good for you!

  15. Catherine Sargent says:

    It is great that you are doing what makes you happy and you are helping others. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

  16. Lori says:

    Inspiration for businesses comes from many different places and yours is coming from a great place. I’m sure you are going to help many more people in the future with your work.

  17. Liz Mays says:

    It’s great that your personal experience lead you to want to help heal others. This kind of business must be very rewarding!

  18. Pam Wattenbarger says:

    It is amazing when people discover their calling in life. It sounds like yours is nontraditional but it may help so many people.

  19. Meagan says:

    I am a big believer in doing what makes you happy. It sounds like 65 or not you have found your happiness.

  20. Marcie W. says:

    We all find motivation in different things, and sometimes, those happen to be sad occurrences or tragedies. I believe you are never too old to dream a new dream and wish you nothing but fulfillment and success!

  21. mitch says:

    I just wrote a post on prayer. I came right out and told folks that you can do it without it being attached to a religion! I believe in spirituality and I believe we can access more through speaking to whatever higher power we think is out there. And it all starts with action for me, then faith!

  22. Everyone has to discover their purpose in life. Sometimes others don’t understand it and will question it. It is your journey, and you just have to do what is right for you

  23. Joely Smith says:

    There is nothing MORE healing than a spiritual journey. The work you do IS special as are you. I am so happy that you do what you do. I have done similar work for 2 decades and it is both the most difficult and the most rewarding. Keep at it!

  24. Kristin says:

    HUGS!! Sending you lots of love, seems you’ve found healing.

  25. Everyone has their own journeys and experiences. Nobody should be telling you how you feel or who you are. Stay strong girl!

  26. Claudia Krusch says:

    Some people are just meant to be retired. I think it is fantastic you are doing something you love with your time.

  27. Dogvills says:

    I think this is something that you are really meant to do and your mom pushed you to do it. I don’t think this is a waste of time. You are doing something important, not just for you, but for all the people that needs your help.

  28. Theresa says:

    I think it’s a beautiful thing that you have been able to take the losses you have experienced and turned them into something so positive. You are never to old to go on new adventures, and this one you are on will help many on the spiritual path too.

  29. Scott says:

    Age shouldn’t be a factor at all. We all have something to contribute – at any age. Congrats for moving forward!

  30. Victoria Heckstall says:

    You do not need to teach the way you were taught, and you certainly do not need to lead the way you were led.

  31. Prateek Goel says:

    I love reading your blogs..Sorry for your mother!!
    It is the best thing that you have converted all your losses in a good sense and develop the positivity out of it.

  32. rika says:

    What a wonderful story! Life and Death always teach us something. Your personal experience will help others!

  33. DANA VENTO says:

    For me, just enjoy life no matter what. If it is makes you happy then do it.

  34. Tonia says:

    This is a good thing. Everyone needs healing. It’s not always about medicine.

  35. Becca Talbot says:

    It doesn’t matter how old you are or what criticisms you face, if you want to do something (and in your case believe you should be doing something), then just go and do it! Good luck to you Carol! x

  36. luna says:

    congrats on your new adventure. It sounds scary, but worth it. youre so brave. Best of luck.

  37. Echo says:

    I think it is absolutely amazing that you have found your calling. Passion is so important in whatever you do and it comes to all of us at different times.

  38. Kita Bryant says:

    It sounds like you found something you truly believe in which drives you. Never let someone take that from you.

  39. kelly reci says:

    Woah! Your personal experience will help and inspire others! interesting story!

  40. I think you have to follow your own gut.
    You are an experienced woman with a lot to offer.

  41. such a beautifully powerful and inspirational post. i love it.
    my uncle just passed away this weekend due to cancer and this one really hit home.
    its funny what we remember when someone passes
    all the little things that made them amazing

  42. Kristi says:

    It doesn’t matter how old you are or why you are doing something now… it only matters if you feel it’s right.

  43. angela milnes says:

    This is really a good post and I love reading this and I love this Inspiring pot and glad you share this with us

  44. Amanda Love says:

    I’m sure your mother will think differently from now on. I think it’s awesome that you started this business. Imagine the help that you’re going to be providing to people who are going through a lot of pain right now. I think this is a good move.

  45. My Teen Guide says:

    I am happy that you found your passion. I know it makes you feel good inside that you can reach out and help those who are grieving or suffering from an emotional burden. It is not easy to accomplish such a task but you are doing the best you can. Your mom must be so proud.

  46. Elizabeth O. says:

    Your intentions are very good, you’d like to help out because you know how it feels. You’ve been there. You’ve felt different kinds of grief and you rose from all of them. That’s why it’s awesome that you’re doing this and I’m sure your mom is watching you, proudly, from heaven.

  47. Lynndee says:

    Grieving…been there. And with that, I admire you for doing this – helping others in their healing. Good luck in your business!

  48. Angel says:

    My business is also born as the result of a spiritual journey and a passion. I love that you were in tune enough with your spirituality to recognize that.
    I lost my husband in 2010 and it rocked my world. I’m sorry for your pain, but glad you didn’t let it destroy you.

  49. uprunforlife says:

    Congratulations on your ability to step out of your comfort zone and listen to you calling. Helping others is a very rewarding experience.

  50. Lindsey says:

    When you hear that calling, the calling of a loved one, that is powerful and trust me they are coming to you for good measure.

  51. chubskulit says:

    That sounds great and not silly at all. Sometimes, you found your passion late in life and it’s a good thing because you can enjoy what you love.

  52. Alayna says:

    I’m always interesting in hearing what drives people to pursue a specific spiritual path. I’m sure your parents would be proud that you’re using your experiences for good!

  53. Jennifer G says:

    It is always interesting to me when people share their spiritual journeys! Thank you so much for sharing something so personal to you.

  54. I love that you answered that spiritual calling. Not everyone will understand, but you are the judge of what you want to do in life.

  55. Kiwi says:

    I love the journey of your spiritual awakening. i think all of us can be spiritual but somehow our parents, society and other new age civilized nuances make us all forget we are all spiritual people not just physical. I am on this spiritual journey more and more each day!

  56. wendy says:

    You don’t look at all 65 years of age. I loved reading about your spiritual awakening and what it has done for you. I think your mom would be extremely proud of how everything turned out!

  57. Jeanine says:

    Very interesting. I am not spiritual at all, but I totally get it.Thanks for sharing something very personal. i’m sure it will benefit others.

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