Did you see it coming?

May 26, 2015

saw-it-comingKarma may have seen it coming, but did you?

I’ve had to ask myself that question a time or two. Or three, for that matter.   Because, oh, how easy it is to blind ourselves to outcomes and consequences that everyone else sees coming. Including, but not limited to, Karma.

When these things actually happen, we act all surprised. But how surprised are we really? Our friends are usually not surprised at all. “I saw it coming,” they tell us.

Later, I’ll ask myself, what was I thinking?  The answer is usually, I wasn’t.

I had a really great therapist years ago who taught me the wisdom of predicting an outcome of a difficult situation before entering it.

For years I would work myself into a tizzy about entering the viper’s pit that my family could be–well, not my entire family, just one particular member, who enjoyed targeting me with outbursts of nastiness.  I always felt so blindsided, not to mention hurt.

But when my therapist and I unpacked it in session, I saw that it had been the same way for years. Since it was always the same, why didn’t I see it coming and prepare?

After that, we would always talk through a situation like this beforehand and predict what would happen and how I could respond. I’ll have to admit that it didn’t completely assuage the distress this kind of ugly family behavior caused, but it did help me handle it more effectively.

These days I don’t have to worry about it, since I’m completely out of that situation and happy to be so.

But there are always going to be things that take us by surprise, but wouldn’t, if we paid attention. Because many things that happen in life are predictable. We just have to be attentive enough to see them.

How about you? Do you see it coming? Or, like me, are you usually blindsided by the inevitable?


32 comments on “Did you see it coming?
  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I usually see it coming, but I have been surprised a few times. I think it depends on the situation.

  2. Audrey Van Petegem says:

    I can’t say I always see things coming but I most definitely look for ‘signs’. And sometimes things happen to me that I can’t but just laugh and say ‘Yup, that’s Karma for you!’ Thanks for the reminder!

  3. Ruth Curran says:

    As wise as I “think” I am, I get so fooled by people…. I had a long standing closed heart policy that recently I have been trying to shake. Is a safe heart better? Choices…..

  4. I often don’t see it coming the first few times, but there are certain people who, after the first few times, you just know are going to go there, and often.

  5. Interesting that you bring this up. My sister (only sibling- younger) is a toxic individual for me. She always has been but I looked the other way for over 5 decades. I have finally decided that I can no longer have any kind of meaningful relationship with her (problem is that she’s caring for our mother and if I want to see with my mother, chances are that I have to have some kind of contact with her). Did I see it coming? Yes. Did it come anyways? Yes. How do I handle it? I always have someone else accompany me AND I step over the traps, refusing to engage her. Is it juvenile? Maybe. But I don’t see any other way to handle it.

  6. Sandy says:

    I usually see things coming a mile away! lol

  7. nora says:

    I had one of THOSE relatives, but when I was able finally to confront, he gave up on the sarcasm. guess he didn’t like getting it back–but it did feel good to finally hush him 🙂

  8. I’m not often blindsided by people’s behavior (I observe and predict based on those observations) but am sometimes blindsided by things I couldn’t see coming. A friend of ours died suddenly (“coronary event”) earlier this month, and no one could have predicted this.

  9. Jeanine says:

    I see it coming most of the time but it depends. Karma has been pretty great to me, but life can sometimes throw me a curve ball!

  10. Diane says:

    Totally blindsided. I always expect the best and am floored when someone speaks out or acts out in an unkind way. I can’t seem to get my head around the fact that some people just . . . do it. I’m left with my mouth hanging open and my brain in the ‘off’ position. Sigh.

  11. I feel life is unpredictable sometimes. I just try to live in the moment.

  12. I’ve learned to “see it coming” but it has been a long journey of being blind. I love this post!

  13. I have been blinded many of times myself never seeing certain situations coming. I wish I had because I would have protected myself from the heartache and pain.

  14. Liz Mays says:

    I can overthink things, causing me to imagine possible outcomes but I still get blindsided sometimes.

  15. Britney says:

    Karma is pretty crazy! I think it’s mixed for me, I get blind-sided sometimes but then again I can see it coming other times!

  16. Jennifer says:

    Usually my intuition sees it coming. If I can get out of my own way and trust it, I don’t get blind sided. Karma is a bitch, but I like her!

  17. Laurel Regan says:

    I’ve been blindsided a couple of times, but always in a way that (I don’t think) could have been predicted. Though who knows?! Maybe I could have thought ahead and avoided it!

  18. It’s amazing how we can often see things so much more clearly for others than for ourselves!

  19. I usually see it coming. Then I berate myself afterward, though, for not stopping it or changing its (or my) course.

  20. i used to get blindsided – but I prepare for it now…it is inevitable.

  21. Interesting post! My parents believe in karma so much that they used to make it sound like – yes, I was expecting this to happen.. and next your karma will be.. and so on. For some reason, my daughter does not believe in this, and she does not like it when I talk about karma!

  22. I’ve only come to realize it lately and I am becoming pretty good at avoiding it but not always.

  23. bismah says:

    I have always tried to remind myself to be respectful and kind to others. When you do the opposite you never know what might happen as a result.

  24. I have family that can nasty. It took me some time but now that my guard is up I am prepared for when it happens.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Follow Carol


Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.


I love comments, so if something resonates with you in any way, don’t hesitate to leave a comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by–oh, and why not subscribe so you don’t miss a single post?


Subscribe to my Blog

Receive notifications of my new blog posts directly to your email.