Sometimes it seems like younger generations are looking for a shortcut, a way to the magic without putting in the effort and especially not the time. And even better if someone else does it for them. Daddy, maybe. Or anyone else.
Self-reliance is not as popular as it once was.
I know parents who are complicit in this, too. They want their kids to have it better than they did and as a result, they step in and do it for them, thereby ensuring their kids won’t have the joy of achieving on their own. These kids won’t develop self-reliance and parental involvement pretty much ensures the grown kids won’t have the skills to do it in the future.
What a disservice. To never have that feeling that “I did it myself”?
I’m happy to say that I’ve known a lot of magic and proud that I made it happen all by myself. My parents empowered me because they didn’t do it for me. Nope. They were self-made and they expected us to be self-made, too.
Well, except for my baby sister. Who was the baby. And was treated that way. And always used that as an excuse for not “making anything” of herself. But that’s another story. (Parents take heed.)
Doing it myself allowed me to take real pride in my accomplishments.
When I think of the young people I know who haven’t experienced the pleasure of doing something big all by themselves, with their own resources and self-reliance, it makes me sad.
Not too long ago I heard a parent talking about the trust fund kids in their child’s peer group. The child is not really a child, they’re a young adult. And felt that it was unfair that their friends had a slick, easy ride on their trust funds, while they did not. The parent told me that story and felt guilty that they could not provide the things these trust fund kids had.
I was shocked that this would even be a parental concern and horrified that the adult child would bring this up. I couldn’t even imagine that a parent would feel this way. Or that an adult child would feel so entitled.
I know some of you parents are going to point out that I’m not a parent. That I don’t know the pressures parents are under today. That you simply want to give a helping hand. Yadda yadda yadda.
I hear you.
And I know parents out there who have let their kids earn their way. Their adult kids are some of the nicest, most interesting and most accomplished I have ever met. They’re out in the world making things happen for themselves and others.
Their upbringing has prepared them for the future ahead. One in which their parents have moved on to their eternal reward and are unavailable. Because that happens to us all.
And if a kid doesn’t know self-reliance by then…..