Self-validating builds self-esteem

January 18, 2012

Who validates you as good enough? Who stamps your card?
How do you know you are ok?

When we’re children, we look to our parents for that stamp that says we’re worthy.
As teens, we look to our friends, our peers.

If we mature in a healthy way, we grow in confidence over the years, appreciate our individuality and learn to validate ourselves.

Some of us over-relate to a job and count on it to give us our self-worth. It’s not unusual for women to look toward a relationship for validation, as in if we’re attractive to a partner, then that makes us ok. Lovable. Worthy.

The quest for external validation can be a trap if it keeps us involved in jobs or relationships that don’t give us what we really want. Regardless of our rationales (and the smarter we are, the better the rationales) maybe the truth is we don’t feel worthy enough.

Maybe 2012 should be the year we learn that we can validate ourselves. That we really are good enough, just as we are.

And that the most important stamp on our card is the one we place ourselves.

2 comments on “Self-validating builds self-esteem
  1. Anonymous says:

    So true carol; guilty of this myself and try to avoid this kind of thinking.

  2. Yeah, it’s easy to do, isn’t it? ;-))) Reminders are always good.

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