Shoulds, assumptions & things that don’t concern us

March 3, 2011

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
The Dead Pool, 1988 (film)

It’s true. It’s human nature to have an opinion, a position, a point of view.
And I certainly have some. Many, in fact.
We love to “weigh in” on things that don’t concern us.
And maybe it serves a purpose. Maybe it helps us learn.

Opinions become problematic, though, when they aren’t grounded in any real knowledge of or understanding of the situation.

I’m not talking about politics or social issues.
I’m talking about “the personal.”

Here’s an example:

When I was single, all my married friends had opinions about the men I’d date.
Their suitability for me.
Whether I should or shouldn’t date them.

But those viewpoints had nothing to do with me.
Their positions were all about the suitability of my beaus for THEM.
Because it was inconceivable that I might have significantly different criteria than theirs.

Opinions are all about “shoulds.”

“Should” is a tricky word, especially when the holder of the opinion
isn’t in the skin (or head) of the person to whom it’s directed.
When they know nothing about the actual situation.

“Shoulds” are based on assumptions.
And you know what they say about those:

When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.

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