You have been my delight

December 28, 2015
grief

Little did I know it was also the luckiest.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

Like a movie flipbook, I see the chapters of our friendship fly by…how fast 30 years goes and how many memories we made. How can it be over so soon?

I walked into that event –just a few weeks into my move to California in 1984–and there you were: warm, gracious and yes, we had the cultural connection to cement it.

Years passed, and then decades. Sometimes, thousands of miles between us.

And yet, we shared our lives.

Laughter, tears and everything in between.

Good times and bad.

And accessories. Always, accessories. The only person I know who went to chemotherapy in full make-up and perfect jewelry. And boy, did I give you a hard time about it, too! “Seriously? Make-up? Your good jewelry?”

Laughter. Did I say laughter?

To almost the last heartbeat, laughter.

It was a friendship like none other.

Honesty.

Trust.

Love.

“She’s like a sister to me,” you told your chemo doctor.

You were better than a sister to me, I told anyone who asked.

“Thank you for all you’ve done for my sister,” your wonderful brother said last year.

“All I’ve done for your sister? No. All she’s done for ME,” I told him.

Oh, my sister-friend, the friend of my heart and soul, my beautiful, brave friend:

The angels have carried you to heaven, where I trust that you are safe in the hands of the Divine, and where we shall meet again.

I’ll try not to be too sorrowful, but I miss you already.

second-star-to-the-right

I hope you left some trail markers; you know I have a terrible sense of direction. And I know you’ll be waiting with open arms.

 Until then, go ahead. Appear to me in the middle of the night and let me know what you found. You’re the ONLY ONE who could do that and not scare me beyond sanity.

Ok. Well, I might be a little scared. But do it anyway.

Yeah. Laughter.

And love.

And yes, I know it was you who lit that candle three times after you passed. It took me a few hours to get it. But I got it.

Don’t ever stop lighting our way.

13 comments on “You have been my delight
  1. ryder ziebarth says:

    Dearest Carol,
    Sorry won’t begin to help you with your sorrow. I hope you know how great a companion you are to so many of us, and because of that, I know this sister- friend of yours was the recieprient of one of the most wonderful souls on earth. She may have died too soon and for that, I am so, so sorry, but she died a richer woman with your love for her.

  2. Evalyn Baron says:

    Gorgeous. Sad for your loss, and yet…look what poetry you made of it…❤️❤️❤️????????????…..xx ev

  3. I am so deeply sorry for your loss of your sister-friend who you will carry with you for the rest of your days. What a lovely tribute to her and I’m sure she’ll show up often in ways you never thought of. As my uncle always said to me (and he’s with the angels now too) I hug you with my words.

  4. K. Lee Banks says:

    So sorry to hear you have lost this loved one. Losing someone like this is always difficult, but for it to happen during the holiday season seems to amplify the loss. Prayers for comfort and strength to you, as well as to her family.

  5. Oh, Carol, I’m so sorry. What a beautiful tribute to a glorious friendship. Peace.

  6. Julia says:

    What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful friendship. Praying for you and for her family.

  7. pia says:

    Carol I’m sure this was incredibly hard to write as it is to fathom and to get on with life.

    When we’re kids we think our lives will be filled with such friendships. Then we learn no matter how hard we try only a few women, maybe one, fill that sweet spot that’s a lot like romantic love but without the physical or the complications.

    There are no words. But know that you’re not alone—that many understand and as Cathy’s uncle said “hug you with words.”

  8. My dear Carol,
    You are so right that this is a time to be sad. And my heart is sad for you. The happy memories will always sustain you but the heartache needs its time as well. May your writing “sisters” bring you some comfort. And may you feel the grace of your dear, sweet sister-friend when you
    need it the most. Love to you and your family.

  9. I’m so sorry for your loss, Carol. Your words tell such a wonderful story of friendship and sisterhood and I’m sure your bond will live on.

  10. Ruth Curran says:

    What a gift to share your heart so well and so long and know that it was time and energy perfectly spent. Here’s to the smile that comes from knowing that the light of your candle app will light her way!

  11. Suzanne Stavert says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your beautiful heart and words pay tribute to your special friendship.

  12. Lux says:

    Sorry for your loss.
    Real friends are hard to come by. You’re fortunate to have found one.
    This is a really moving tribute.

  13. Brian Kessler says:

    Oh Carol…..this is absolutely beautiful. Love you and this tribute to dear Marilyn.

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