It’s really a surprise to me how many people keep things inside and never share what they’re thinking and feeling. It’s a problem.

At work, by all means, choose your words. Choose them carefully. But do speak. Because keeping quiet means you’re not contributing and people who don’t contribute aren’t valued.

Silence is a great way to kill off a relationship. So if you’re looking for an easy out, silence is a good choice. Unless you are really, really stubborn, like someone I know whose spouse didn’t speak to them at all for an entire year. That person didn’t confront it, either.  I’m not sure who was more passive aggressive, the person who stopped speaking rather than confront the issue, or the person who avoided asking the spouse what was wrong.  Talking is how two people work out their relationship. Because all relationships require negotiation. That’s just a fact.

Silence can also be pretty boring. If you never have anything to say, pretty soon, your partner’s going to find someone they can talk to.  Just saying.

Then there’s the other side of it: the partner who babbles on, incessantly.  Speak, but not so much that you drive your partner into seclusion. Or bore them to death with inanities.

If you can’t talk with your friends, well, who CAN you talk with? I know people who used to say to their kids, “Don’t air your dirty laundry outside the home.”  I have a different view. If there isn’t anyone in your life with whom you can air your dirty laundry, well, it would be a lonely life.

So–speak up. Speak out. Just speak. It’s one of the great pleasures of life.