This is a post every blogger should read.
There was a day when kissing and telling was impolite. Apparently, those days are long gone, along with so many other aspects of good taste.
This week (and I am writing this months in advance of posting) I read two blog posts that I think exceeded the bounds of good taste in blogging. The question is really this: does “being authentic” require you to disclose every personal or unsavory detail of your life? Even if it involves others?
First, a few caveats, just to head off comments from people accusing me of being unwilling to share my personal life. Let me assure you that my life’s been virtually an open book for a very long time. To my friends. I’ve never seen the need to write about every problem that comes up–that’s what my friends are for.
And to those who think I’m a prude: If you knew how much I’m not a prude I’d have to kill you, but a select few people know that I. Am. Definitely. Not. A. Prude.
Now you know, too. Take my word for it, because I’m not going to ever post details.
So let’s start.
Discretion is a good thing.
Blogger A decided to post a detailed and quite well-written piece about her husband’s failings as a gift giver. In the post, she set forth some impossible-to-meet requirements for successful gift giving, discussed her husband’s epic fails in gift-giving and posted photos of gifts her husband had given her that failed to meet her standards. It’s probably no surprise that this does not appear to be a particularly healthy marriage (but who really knows for sure) and this wife has more than a few issues with entitlement. This isn’t the first time she’s posted unflattering and mean things about her husband. It just didn’t sit right with me. It was way too personal.
She claims she’s being “vulnerable” and “authentic.” I think it’s more like “inappropriate.” It’s the difference between “class” and “crass.”
Marital issues need to be resolved within the couple. Sure, blog about the topic if you’re compelled to. But do so in general terms, talk about yourself or use a “fictional friend”. Or talk in theory. Don’t publicly cut your mate in the process, especially if you have a big-time blog with thousands of readers worldwide. Some things are more appropriately kept private. Why hurt your husband in that way? I don’t get it.
I just don’t see how casting someone else in a bad light is being “vulnerable.” Even if you’re casting yourself in a bad light by doing so.
I Googled “Missionary Position” and got “Mormon Missionary Position” instead
Blogger B wrote an entire giddy post about a discussion she had with her husband about the state of their marriage and closed with an in-living-color description of a sexual romp they had.
The whole post just pushed my buttons. It reeked of “isn’t sex grand? and “aren’t I hot?”
First of all, I discovered sex a long time ago and have had my share of sexual adventures. Maybe even more than my share.
I would no more blog about them than I’d kick one of my dogs. I wouldn’t invade my husband’s privacy that way –or any partner’s— and I certainly have no need for others to envision me and another in the heat of the moment.
It’s just Too. Much. Information.
Hey, if you’re a sex blogger? Go for it. There’s context. History. It’s topical for you. I get it.
If you’re writing porn? Send me the URL — who knows, I might like it.
But seriously. If you want any credibility at all as a plain old blogger, do not subject your readers to your unfiltered marital issues, detailed discussions you’ve had with your spouse about extramarital affairs or the gory details of the last time you got laid. In fact, don’t do it at all, even if you’re a sex blogger.
I’m THRILLED that you have a robust sex life.
By all means, tell me you donned your corset and fuck-me pumps.
And stop there.
Please do not make me envision you with your mouth wrapped around your hubby’s pole or your legs around his hips.
Too. Much. Information.
Here’s a good rule of thumb:
Just because you can write about something, doesn’t mean you should.