The bridge to forgiveness

June 1, 2013
Acqui Terme, Italy

Acqui Terme, Italy

Those who can not forgive others

break the bridge over which they, too, must pass,

for every man has need to be forgiven.

~Thomas Fuller

You’d think this would be easier, wouldn’t you? That just the desire to forgive would be enough.

But, it’s only the start, really.

For me, forgiveness takes mastication,

as in “I’ve got to chew on the issue for a while.”

Sometimes, longer than I’d like.

I continue to marvel at how forgiveness comes in its own time,

sneaking up without making a sound.

I might not have thought of the event or the person

in a very long time, and then, one day, when I do, that awful hurt is gone.

I reach out and try to touch the pain,

and the only thing I feel is forgiveness, seasoned with a bit of compassion.

I’ve let go of the hurt.

People are going to hurt us in this life and we’re going to hurt others.

Most of us don’t mean to. Maybe we’ve been hurt ourselves and don’t know how to handle it.

Or maybe we’re just too self-focused to see the effect we’re having on another.

But if you buy the concept that few people are truly malicious, as I do,

it becomes easier (in time) to cross the bridge to forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a one way street, to be honest.

We do it for ourselves and it doesn’t matter how the other person feels about it.

We do it for ourselves.

But if we don’t, it does make it more difficult for others to get across the chasm that separates us.

And for them to forgive us.

Think of it as facilitation.

They might get there. Or they might not.

What’s really important is that WE get there.


2 comments on “The bridge to forgiveness
  1. Tamara T. says:

    I am almost too good at letting go of past hurts. I tend to wake up in a new world everyday, wondering why my hubby or friends are still so worked up about whatever the latest issue is. My husband is exactly the opposite, he has a real hard time letting go. I’m not sure which is better, I don’t have the bitterness in my heart that comes with unforgiveness, but I do tend to “let” myself get hurt over and over again because I trust where I should not. I don’t learn from my mistakes! Forgiveness is best, but you also must have the sense to remove yourself from people and situations that are hurtful. One day I may learn….Great post!

  2. Jessica says:

    Aye, I am grappling with this issue right now. I have 6 months to do this as I have a trip with family coming up and if I don’t forgive now, it will suck all the fun out of it. This is so beautifully written. Thank you for taking the to write and post.

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