The reflecting pool of friendship

August 24, 2013
Dahlia, my back yard

Dahlia, my back yard

More often than not, the people in our life are a reflection of ourselves–our best selves and the parts of us we need to work on.

Our best friends can help us know ourselves better in so many ways, if we let them. The joyous part of friendship is that acceptance of who we are–exactly as we are. Which gives us the freedom to grow and evolve. To take input and use it.

And, if we choose friends we admire, it’s likely that we have some of those same qualities–or we may aspire to them.  I’ve seen this at work in my own life many times, as my friends inspire me to fulfill my potential or take on new challenges.  I know also that I serve as that kind of model for a few friends, which makes me feel really good.

Friends who are different than we are challenge us to find deeper understanding of what lies behind our differences.

Even those people in our life who act out do us a favor –if we let them– by helping us access compassion and forgiveness.  By looking more closely at how these particular people are serving us, we might find insights into our own needs….and maybe even have a Eureka! moment or two. Which could be a catalyst for growth and change.

The  examined life is not for the faint of heart, but it’s the only way to learn about ourselves.  So. Wouldn’t it be interesting to do an inventory of the people in our lives and especially to identify the part of ourselves they serve?

Do they reflect the best of who we are? And if they don’t, what purpose do they serve? or do we serve for them?  Yes, it goes both ways.

I did this recently and was surprised at some of the patterns that came up.

Viewing the people I associate with as a reflection of myself is something I hadn’t considered before. There’s been some transition in the people I associate with over these past few years and as I examine it with new eyes, I see that every bit of it’s been positive. Even if it didn’t seem so at the time.

What about you? Anything to share on this topic?




15 comments on “The reflecting pool of friendship
  1. Wow. Brilliant. Time to take inventory and see what I learn. Thanks.

  2. Barbara says:

    Getting a little itchy in my skin just reading this…..hmmmmmm. And yet glowing and pleased at the thought of some friendships.

  3. Susan Cooper says:

    Aw, that is so true. we sometimes sone’t see our associations as a reflection of where we and who we are that different times in our life but it really is. We often see that more clearly in hindsight. 🙂

  4. Hmm, most of my friends are very direct. So I must be direct. Actually, I know that I am. And all are compassionate. That bodes well.

  5. Sandy Ramsey says:

    Just a few days ago I was talking to my daughter about friend choices. I told her I value quality over quantity. That has not always been the case. I did some soul searching a little while back and realized I had relationships that I didn’t value for the right reasons. And they all reflected negative traits I found I had myself. Needless to say I cleaned house. To quote an old adage, I have many aquaintances and a few very good friends. Thank you for your honest and lovely post!

    • admin says:

      That was such good advice to your daughter. I’m sorry to say that I don’t always clean house as I should, but see the value in it and have done so a time or two.

  6. LOVE and concur; my friends are AWESOME and so is this blog. Love the background and gentle colors too, not to mention YOUR GARDEN! ahhh…love love LOVE

  7. I adore my timeless friends for how we connect personally, rather than through some expired stage in life. But I’m not always aware of what growth it is I need until I meet someone new who has cultivated it within themselves. In even small ways, new friends come along to help us grow AND give back from what we’ve learned. That sweet purpose behind new connections is something I love about this stage in life.

  8. Megan Walker says:

    I never thought of friendship in this way before. A lot of my really good friends I have feel and share deep emotions, which is something I do as well. I have always been very dramatic/emotional, and there is a certain shame in that for me. I know I don’t always act appropriately because of those feelings. By having friends with the same characteristic, I am able to be my true self.

    Thanks for sharing on Hump Day Happenings!

    • Megan, you raise some points I’d never considered. I hope you never feel shame for being you..emotions are good things to feel. And show. For the most part LOL.

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