Some people find goodbyes easy, but I’m not one of them.
You’ve probably heard that saying that friends can be in your life “for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” Me? I have trouble with that “season” thing. Consequently, my life and psyche are cluttered with relationships that remain long past their shelf life.
I used to think that was a positive. That I saw value in all relationships I’d started. And in fact, if I hadn’t had that point of view, M. and I wouldn’t have remarried. So in some ways, it’s served me well.
On the other hand, there’s still a lot of clutter taking up valuable space in my psyche, just as it does in my office. I’m overdue to let go of at least some of it and I wonder, what makes me hold on so tightly?
Part of it is that until now, I’ve chosen to live with some degree of instability. This is the first time in almost 15 years that I’ve had only one home. For a long time, my two homes were separated by 3,000 miles. For me, stability was ensuring that the people around me in each place stayed around me. They rooted me, really. And even if I didn’t see them all that often, or even at all, even if it had been years since they’d had starring roles in my life, just knowing they were there for me to call on gave me a strange sense of security.
As I age, though, I see the value of jettisoning old, stale stuff, whether it’s in my office, my garage or in my life. Maybe it’s because after so many decades, my life’s hard drive is so full it’s a little sluggish. I need to free up some capacity so that I can experience the new, more positive people who take center stage in my current life.
Maintaining long-term ties has both served me and hindered me, I realize. Even though I’ve always thought it was difficult to figure out when and what to let go of, it really isn’t. It’s pretty simple: relationships that feel good, stay. If something doesn’t feel good or is inactive, it goes.
Wiping the slate clean is liberating. It leaves room for making new dreams come true.
Looking ahead, I see plenty of space for creating something new in my life.
And on that very topic: be sure to come visit–I’m blogging monthly on making my dreams come true at The Succulent Wife. I’d make the link live, but I think Google punishes us for doing that. You can find it on your own, right? Who could forget a name like that?