People used to be confused about gay. Now it’s trans. Same fear and misunderstanding.
Some new challenges have appeared, as we transition to a trans world. (Such as athletics, which is a topic for another day.)
Today I want to tell you about the first transperson I ever knew.
It was back in the late 1980s and I can’t tell you how I met her but I can tell you that I got to know her pretty well.
She was 6’4″ and had a decidedly male frame. And look.
But she was female. And she certainly didn’t love who she was.
Here is what I learned.
She knew very young that she didn’t belong in the body into which she was born. But she had no way to make sense of it.
This was especially true because she looked so masculine. There aren’t many 6’4″ women around. Especially with Adam’s apples and a male physique.
The struggle to relate to live in a straight world was real. And she didn’t belong in the gay world.
She knew no one else like her, at first. Certainly not in her Hispanic community.
There was no place for her. Anywhere.
If she wanted to be herself, where would she work? Today I could think of options but back in the late 1980s, no one was about to hire someone so openly transgender.
She was lost.
The only job open to her was a not legal. It was the only place where being trans was an advantage. Necessary, even.
You can use your imagination.
It was easy for me see how this happened: she had no other options. No choice. This was how she could make a living.
Today, we continue to struggle with understanding and accepting trans people. Just like back in the day with gay people, some think trans is a choice.
It is not a choice.
It’s a tweak of nature. Oh, I know some people don’t want to understand this, just as they don’t want to understand that gay is normal.
How does this happen? The short answer is that we don’t really know, at least not yet. But we do know it happens. That it is REAL.
Some scientists think that transgender individuals may have been exposed to higher than typical levels of sex hormones during later stages of fetal development. This could have led to brain structures that didn’t match their sex assigned at birth. Or the hormones that trigger the development of gender may not work properly on the brain, reproductive organs and genitals, causing differences. It’s possibly caused by additional hormones in the mother’s system, maybe as a result of taking medication.
We just don’t know at this time.
But here’s what we DO know:
It’s not a choice.
It’s not a sin.
It’s nature.
And if we really think about it, we’d have to agree with what I’ve come to learn:
It’s so hard to be different in this world. My heart goes out to anyone who has to struggle to fit in, even use the rest room! I hope your friend is okay.
Thanks for this. Your explanations are right on. Though I worked in obstetrics, there is no way one can tell when an infant arrives in the world how his/her genetic makeup will grow, react and become part of a human being. Love helps. Understanding is so necessary.
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It’s so hard to be different in this world. My heart goes out to anyone who has to struggle to fit in, even use the rest room! I hope your friend is okay.
I’m sad to say that she died, a direct result of her lack of options.
Too many judgy people out there who just don’t get it. You’d think our country would be more accepting now, but…..
Thanks for this. Your explanations are right on. Though I worked in obstetrics, there is no way one can tell when an infant arrives in the world how his/her genetic makeup will grow, react and become part of a human being. Love helps. Understanding is so necessary.
It’s hard for to be believe how far we’ve fallen in that area.