Kyle & Mauricio. It was before she had a few more facial nips and tucks and he looks scruffier than he does now.

This post is going to be a real snoozer if you don’t follow the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So scroll past if it doesn’t interest you. But if you do follow these women, come along for this ride. If you regularly read, you know I am a big observer of human behavior. I find it fascinating. And this is one of those cases:

The big news this summer is that former child star and now “real” housewife Kyle Richards and her yummy-looking husband, Mauricio have separated.

And even juicier, Kyle, a mom of four mostly grown kids and a fan of the stupidly expensive Birkin bag, is dating a much younger tattooed country singer. A woman.

First, let’s just say that few more unlikely couplings exist in the reality sphere. than this couple. But let’s back up.

The fairy tale

Kyle and Mauricio looked like a fairy tale couple, even with those rumors of his supposed infidelities. He really is a great-looking guy and she’s gorgeous, plus all their daughters are beautiful. They’re rich and successful. They have it all. Or so it seemed.

And then observant watchers noticed she was out and about without her humongous wedding ring set, which had been a fixture on her finger since she reappeared on the scene as a “housewife.” And while it raised some questions, the fuss blew over quickly.

But as time passed and smart TikTokers/Instagrammers started putting a bunch of clues together, it seemed obvious: Kyle is in some kind of romantic relationship with a woman, country singer Morgan Wade.

So why is this even worth mentioning?

Because despite all of the clues, she is denying it with everything she’s got. And that pisses me off.

Let’s get one thing straight (pun unintended):

Not Morgan. She has many more random tattoos than this.

I don’t believe people should be outed. I believe they should have the privilege of outing themselves when they are ready.

But if you are in the public eye as Kyle is and if you do not want people to know you are seeing a woman, you should be smart and discreet. You should not put really obvious clues out there because people are not stupid. This is big news in the “housewives” realm and sooner or later you’ll be outed.

So here’s what the observers saw:

The two got matching tattoos. Ok, not so strange, right? But they are stylized hearts. When Kyle was asked about hers she stumbled a bit and said “it means something to me.” It was the only tattoo (and she’d gotten three recently) about which she was evasive. Also, I am fairly sure these were her first tattoos, as she is known to hate needles.

Morgan is VERY tattooed. So many. So, so many.

So, the hearts. And Kyle’s several new tattoos.

Oh, did I mention that among Morgan’s many tattoos is a new one: the initial “K” on her arm? Morgan’s ex also has a surname beginning with K, but the tattoo appeared well after they broke up.

And then:

The two wear matching rings. Kyle replaced her wedding set with the new ring. The one that matches Morgan’s.

Well, here’s the thing: we are not in kindergarten. Adult besties do not exchange rings, nor do they replace their wedding ring with a bestie ring.

Prior to her relationship with Kyle, Morgan was dating a gorgeous young woman and I do mean gorgeous. The young ex posted a tearful video a bit back about Morgan being in town for a show and knowing “a certain person” would be at that show. So she checked and sure enough, she was right. “Why do we do this to ourselves?” she tearfully asked. Wait, did I mention Kyle was at that show?

Also some internet sleuths found one of the ex’s posts that had crossed out references to “real housewives” … I didn’t care enough to dig into that one but it seemed interesting. I did see the one that said “you told me I had nothing to worry about because she was very much in love with her husband.”

Social media sleuths

And while Kyle has made gushingly romantic posts to her husband for his birthday, Valentine’s Day, their anniversary, her posts for more than a year have been more friendly than romantic. And sometimes nothing at all on a big occasion. Far, far fewer posts referring to her husband than before. And no photos of them together in a long time.

But.

Many online photos of Morgan and Kyle are posted, including one of Morgan sitting on Kyle’s lap on a private plane. I’ll address that plane thing later.

And Morgan on red carpets with Kyle in Mauricio’s “place.” Kyle traveled to met Morgan’s family and that was posted.. The two vacationed together with friends that were not in the housewives circle or any celebrity circle at all. Not any of Kyle’s regular pals that we’ve seen on her feed.

Suddenly, Kyle has a very buff body. Muscles even. She is athletic but hasn’t been muscular before. Did I mention that Morgan lifts weights and is very, very buff? That they use the same trainer?  Also suddenly, Kyle, a girl who loved her a cocktail, stopped drinking. Morgan is sober. Of course.

Discretion is the better part of valor, they say

And really clever internet detectives found even more. Oh dear.

But my point is this: if you do not want to be outed, then be more discreet.

There are many reasons why a mom might want to strategically out herself.

But Kyle has not been strategic.

Also, this thought occurred to me. There is no apparently tangible benefit (other than feelings) in this relationship for Kyle. But for Morgan, a relatively unknown singer, the spike in visibility and the fact that a whole new potential audience is being exposed to her music (I admit, I looked her up and I like the music)—well, now, that is a nice little payoff for being with a woman almost 30 years older, don’t you think? (Morgan is younger than Kyle’s eldest daughter.) I would also bet that, thanks to Kyle, Morgan’s been on more private planes than she’s ever been on in her life. So bottom line…benefit: Morgan.

Once the proverbial shiz hit the fan, Kyle and Mauricio issued a lame statement that they have been separated for a while, are “not divorcing,” that there has been “no wrongdoing” on anyone’s part and asks that the public should refrain from “salacious gossip.” Then, a whole bunch of family-togetherness photos in which everyone looked uncomfortable (even the dog) were posted on social media. Which nobody bought.

No one’s hopping on — or off –the turnip truck here

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to break their statement down and see that it says pretty much nothing. So here’s what I wish I could say to Kyle:

If this is, in fact, a regression to grade school girlfriends, then find a better way to explain it to the public now that they’ve formed some opinions. Something more transparent.

But if it is, in fact, a new romance:

Since you weren’t smart about discretion there’s only one thing to do. Embrace your new relationship. There’s nothing wrong with it. Tell your kids whatever your truth is and then, in recognition of your public persona, tell your fans “Mauricio and I are taking a break and I’m dating a cool woman. I hope you’ll be supportive as we navigate these new waters.”

Be a role model for those who are afraid to step into who they are at any stage of life. Show that it’s ok to love whom you love. Or date whomever you like. Or to redefine your marriage in whatever way you want to.

But do not expect us to believe your lame cover story.

We did not all just fall off the turnip truck.

But wait! There’s more!

Entertainment reporter Janet Charlton has just posted a “blind item” that implied Kyle had to look elsewhere for attention because her husband was allegedly exploring his OWN sexuality! And another blogger cited an interview with a supposed trans madam who alleges he was a very good customer for chicks with dicks. Is it true? Who knows. But it’s out there.

And the beat goes on….and on….and on…..this is what I mean when I say that if you are a high-profile person, you really do need to be strategic. Oh, did I mention that I spent 12 years of my career advising just such high-profile people how to navigate these kind of troubled waters?  So dear readers, that’s why I have a particular interest in this situation. It was how I made my living.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive. ~Sir Walter Scott