Chocolate cake goes straight to my ass.
There’s no escaping it–eat crap in your senior years and it wraps itself around you and doesn’t want to let go. It was an indulgent year and therefore Mean Mommy (my internist) has cracked the whip. I’ve risen to the challenge.
But, I do love chocolate cake.
Even if I won’t eat it for a while.
As much as I try to deny it, I miss having a real family in my life.
I go through stages with this. I have some of the most wonderful friends, but still, I sometimes wish I had family.
I know, intellectually, that the myth of the perfect family is just that, a myth. And I’m always forgiving about people’s flaws, God knows. I have enough of my own. So they don’t need to be perfect.
But sometimes I just wish my family were different.
And in my life.
But, as they say, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
So far, I’ve seen no beggars on horseback. So maybe in another lifetime.
The Universe always tells you what’s best.
What, you think I really want to listen? Usually not.
However, when the Universe stepped in and presented me my first husband for another go, virtually minutes before I was to enter what would likely have been a disastrous marriage to someone else, well, I had to listen. Because it took something that dramatic to get me to hear and to realize that the Universe always knows best. And sometimes has to work overtime to make me act on it.
That’s not to say that I always choose the right thing, even when prodded. But as far as my husband is concerned, well, it’s the best decision I ever made. Even if it took Divine intervention.
I have trouble letting go.
I act as though some people I know provide spiritual nutrition, even when it’s clear they don’t provide jack. I’m done with that. 2016 is a year to let go of things past their expiration date and make room for new and wonderful things. Speaking of new & wonderful: Have I mentioned that a fun girlfriend and I are going flyfishing in Montana?
Some people come in with more armor than others.
Some people think troubles are a contest they have to win, which makes no sense, because who would want to win that contest?
I’ve come to see that everything is relative. What seems like a life with no problems at all may not be the case at all. If you do not walk in another’s shoes, you have no idea. Even if you think you know them well.
But more importantly, I’ve learned that some people are more resilient and better equipped to handle bad stuff than others. They are survivors and they come into the world that way. With armor. I am very lucky to be one of them.
Some of my friends? Not so much. I double up on loving those friends because they so need it.
An open heart is always a good thing.
It’s risky and it can be painful. Not everyone is careful with the open hearts of others. But, for me, there is no other way.
So. What did you learn in 2015 ….and what do you want the new year to look like for you?