In which case it’s not really a loss, then, is it?
Finding the lesson in the situation is tricky though.
Sometimes that discovery only comes with time, because at first, we’re so consumed by pain we can’t see clearly. Sometimes the pain grows until it’s so large it chokes out any clear thought.
Letting pain dissipate can take time, but if we don’t, our vision is clouded. Even if we deny that it is.
Once the pain becomes less acute, we have a clear view of our own responsibility in the situation, which can be painful, itself. It’s like rebound pain.
What? we think. I played a role in this? I could have made the outcome different?
That’s when the hard work begins: when we can look at the situation with clear-eyes. Truly clear eyes.
And that’s when the lesson comes into view, a little at a time. Spend enough time thinking about the situation honestly and we can’t help but learn.
Self-reflection isn’t easy. It’s human nature to want to make excuses. But usually, in those dark hours of the night, we know our role in any scenario and from that, with enough reflection, we can find the lesson.
The final step is to change the way we act in the future, and that could be with relationships, at work or in any scenario.
Change is hard. There are never enough blog posts on change because that connection between learning a lesson and forming new styles and habits is hard to forge.
For now, though, it’s about turning a loss into a lesson.