Do you remember the Bedazzler? It’s a little stapler gadget used to apply rhinestones and geegaws to fabric. It was big in the 80s but is still around and sold on late-night TV.
There’s a disturbing trend afoot. Apparently, women are bedazzling their vaginas.
Well, not their vaginas, really, more like their mons venus.
Even though the technique is valled vajazzling. Mons venus just doesn’t work as well. (Except as a strip club.)
Vajazzling has picked up steam since actress Jennifer Love Hewett talked about it in an interview. The gossip sites say that Ms. Love has issues with sex and her vagina suffers from low self esteem. To increase her vagina’s self esteem, she has rhinestones affixed to its outer limits.
No, I am not kidding. I couldn’t make this stuff up.
I pondered this in the early hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep.
First, vajazzling depends on another 21st century trend that’s gotten popular: the clean-shaven or lasered cooch. Because you simply couldn’t apply rhinestones to a hairy hoo-haw. And besides, a hirsute hooch is just so 80s, you know?
Also, it seems to me that intimate relations with a vajazzled woman would be very dangerous. If the partner wasn’t clean-shaven, a good detangler would be in order. Then, a good antiseptic on the areas where the partner’s hair was pulled out by the rhinestones. And if the partner was clean-shaven, well, you’d definitely need the antiseptic for the wounds.
If, even after reading this, you simply must vajazzle, here’s how:
More proof that we live in a disturbed world.