Wisdom from Downton Abbey

April 16, 2014

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What is there to say?
One day I will die. And so will he, and you and every one of us under this roof. 
You must put these things in proportion, Mrs. Patmore.
–Mrs. Hughes, Downton Abbey
So. I read a whole lot of blogs written by mid-life and senior bloggers and I have to wonder:
Am I late to the horrific symptoms of aging bandwagon? I must be the luckiest woman alive,
I’m not tired all the time.
So far I don’t have chronic major aches or pains.
No knee, hip or other surgery needed. Not yet.
I’m not depressed.
Not troubled by hot flashes or any other menopausal symptom.
Oh, ok, I don’t sleep the whole night but I manage that with a little help.
I’m not freaking out about being fat.
I don’t have an eating disorder.
I’m not considering cosmetic surgery.
I’m not racked by insecurities.
I don’t do affirmations..
I don’t feel like I have to reinvent myself.
I’m just living my life, best I can.
Like Mrs. Hughes on Downton Abbey, I strive to put the inevitable in perspective.
We all age.
Eventually we all deteriorate, body and mind.
And we all die.
Until then? I plan to live it up, best I can.
I’m not wasting a single moment bemoaning the inevitable.
29 comments on “Wisdom from Downton Abbey
  1. wendy says:

    Right on, Carol! You took the words right out of my mouth (and that’s really saying something!).

  2. You go Carol! I think it is wonderful to have such a positive outlook! So many people are mired down by those things listed above. We all need to think and LIVE positively! Thanks for reminding me!

  3. Yay! So glad to hear – I love your perspective. Life is short (in the grand scheme of things), enjoy while you’re here! I love Mrs. Hughes (and Mrs. Patmore).

  4. Ryder Ziebarth says:

    I couldn’t agree more and lucky, lucky you. Age happened to the body whether we fight or wave the white flag. I prefer to fight-botox, fillers, a neck lift, Barr Method class, long mindful walks, the majority of heathy eating ( albeit too many junk food splurges, but who’s prefect?) I am not afraid to die. I have a spiritual faith that prevents my mind from thinking my energy-my legacy-won’t live on in the hearts and minds of my family, friends and my perennial beds. It’s the letting go that will be hard, the saying goodbye to this big huge present of a planet, and to my only child, who I love so vehemently. The aches and pains, the sweats–all part of the game, and I play along without too much acknowledgement. I am happy. And that is what makes me less afraid of what is to come.

  5. Barbara says:

    What a wonderfully uplifting post to read this morning. I’m guilty of a few of these bemoanings you’ve listed and it’s a good reminder to let them go. And I love Ryder’s comment too – yep – it’s the letting go that will be hard.

    • admin says:

      I found tears dripping down my face while talking about the loss of our older dog in Feb….letting go IS hard for sure but knowing we meet again, as I do, makes it bearable.

  6. admin says:

    My motto is “don’t get stuck in the mud” –because we’ve all seen it, felt it–but I just keep pulling my feet out!

  7. Too often,women are either defending or denying their age. I will not do this. I don’t even think about not doing this. It just isn’t relevant to anything that that matters, like the love that is within reach, and the sights, sounds, feel and taste of amazing discoveries. Thanks for the post, you have uncanny timing.

  8. Life is too short to compare ourselves to anyone else. I love your outlook and your zeal for living your best life today. You are an inspiration to me in so many ways of what it means to age gracefully, Carol. And your no-apologies approach to aging is refreshing. Aging isn’t a crime! It’s a fact of life for each and every one of us lucky enough not to die young.

    • admin says:

      Thanks, Chloe. And you know, it never occurs to me to apologize for anything–I am not young and since we can’t go backwards, I am embracing “full speed ahead”. We ARE lucky to have not died young and we should know this from what we see around us. My inspiration is a friend who has a chronic cancer, has been undergoing treatment for years now and embraces every bit of life she can. She teaches me every day what it means to really live.

  9. I feel the same way- not depressed, minor aches (damn left knee), meno-symptoms kept at bay with a little help, still have a full head of hair…. But I do like the botox!

  10. I think some people seek (and some succeed) to make a career out of resolving the suffering of others. That requires a steady drum beat–somber, rueful and, ultimately, focused on the ‘Nots”.

    • admin says:

      I’ve circled this thought a few times but never articulated it so well. YES. But the thing is, we women sound like we have nothing going for us, when we see all that stuff. It makes me crazy.

  11. Laurel Regan says:

    Very healthy perspective! And I adore Mrs. Hughes. 🙂

  12. Helene Cohen Bludman says:

    You’re so damn … normal, Carol! Hurray for no aches and pains and may you continue to enjoy life. You have a refreshing outlook.

    • admin says:

      Hah! I am the least normal person of all. And perhaps my day will come, I don’t know. There will always be things that challenge us. But for me, aging just isn’t one of them. Then again, I have one of the best role models in the world: an 85-year old friend who is active, fit and vibrant with the very best attitude of all. Wrinkles, too, that she wears proudly.

  13. I wish I could say all the things you are thankful for! But despite my health trials, I smile every morning when I wake up. I love aging. Most of the time. And it always beats dead. 🙂

    • admin says:

      Sissy, you have a hard row to hoe, that I do know. And yet you always have time for a smile. I agree–aging beats dead!

  14. You are a very lucky lady—blessed in many ways, I’d say. Can we trade places just for one day, PLEASE????? I’d give just about anything not to have to go through this menopause crap. But then I feel guilty complaining about it when I meet ladies who have been struggling with it for 10 years or more. Praying it doesn’t last much longer…..but thank God for humor!

    • admin says:

      Here’s the thing. I had perimenopausal symptoms years before I knew what they were. They just…were. I guess maybe ignorance was bliss. I had about 3 hot flashes ever, but I had an aunt wo really suffered those badly, breaking out in a sweat. But my mom and I slid right through for some reason. I’m definitely lucky in that way. As far as the other stuff, well, I do think some of it is attitude. Not all. But as I commented above, my friend who has a chronic cancer that she is in constant chemo with has taught me almost everything I know about how to live fully and not complain…except for she keeps saying “why am I so tired??” and I’m like, “Girlfriend, you’ve had years of chemo!” It’s like she forgets. She is a rock star. I want to always have her attitude.

  15. Hi Carol and thanks for a truly wonderful post 🙂

    While I am not a fan of Downton Abbey, the quote you cited speaks volumes about acceptance and moving forward!

    I am sometimes one of those who complains about not getting older, but having to grow older. For me, it’s more about reconciling the teenager inside me with the outer visage of age. Sometimes the two just don’t live together harmoniously.

    That being said, I’m finding my way slowly and your words in this post reflect a lot of how I feel. Like you…”I’m just living my life, best I can”!

    Thanks Carol and take care.


    ps: I just recently stumbled across your blog and am really enjoying what you have to say 🙂

  16. Cyd Weissman says:

    Thanks for keeping Downtown Abbey alive and well. I’m missing tea time with Mrs. Patmore. I wrote about Cora this week in my blog. How they live on past their season..is that a form of immortality?

1 Pings/Trackbacks for "Wisdom from Downton Abbey"
  1. […] If you’re a fan of the very popular PBS series Downton Abbey, you just might enjoy this fun and insightful post from Carol Cassara over at http://www.carolcassara.com titled “Wisdom from Downton Abbey“: What is there to say? One day I will die. And so will he, and you and every one of us under this roof. You must put these things in proportion, Mrs. Patmore.– Mrs. Hughes, Downton Abbey. Carol has a wonderful approach to the rest of her life and this post is no exception. To check out this fun post, click on over to http://carolcassara.com/2014/04/wisdom-from-downton-abbey.html […]

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