Leaving this world of ours too soon, but with so much grace

July 11, 2022


The first line of her last post read The final day.

My friend had been diagnosed just over a month earlier with a fast-moving terminal cancer and now, she was telling us that this was it. Her last day on this earth.

It had been a horrific month for her. It was clear that shedding her painful body was a release she embraced.

She was one of those bright and gentle souls that make the world better just by drawing breath. Which is why the idea that she does not breathe any longer is so painful. She was, in a word, inspirational.

We’d only met in person once, at a tea given by someone we both know. That woman is long gone, but this one stuck and we established a social media presence in one another’s lives, appreciating each other’s posts and messaging every so often about what resonated.

I had exchanged messages with her just before her shocking diagnosis.

Each year she’d taken on a personal journey. This year her “project” was called The Reinvention Project and its motto was keep the best, reinvent the rest.

She knew we are not static beings. We do not need to hold on to a trait, a position, an opinion. We can learn and grow. Which she did. Constantly. An inspiration.

Shortly after the initial jolt of her announcement, my shock and sadness turned to something else. Acceptance. Of course this was what had to happen. This pure soul had been an angel on earth and now was being called home. She belonged on the other side. It was the next step in her project.

And yet I wasn’t done knowing her. I wanted to read more of her writing. See more of her beautiful photographs. Exchange more messages. Maybe have a cup of tea together when Covid becomes a distant memory.

I was not ready for her to go. But her place on the other side had been made ready for her.  And, now, she was ready to go.

When I think of her today I smile with wonder: she now knows the secrets of the Universe. Of what happens when this life is over. How amazing would that be?

I’ll never forget the last line of her last post:

And in one last twist of fate, I am reinventing myself again.

Her grace will stay with me the rest of my own life. I hope to see her when it’s my turn to cross the veil.

And at night, when I look up at the stars, I’ll look for the one that shines the brightest, that sends out the most gentle, accepting energy…..and know that it’s her.

Toni, you are missed.
Gentle, supportive grief tools in my shop.

23 comments on “Leaving this world of ours too soon, but with so much grace
  1. Jennifer says:

    Wow. That was grace and she did sound inspirational. I’m so sorry.

  2. I’m sorry for your loss, but also know that you’re lucky that your paths crossed.

  3. Kathleen Canrinus says:

    I really like the notion of reinvention and will mull over how to bring this about in my life. Thanks.

  4. Beth Havey says:

    Oh Carol, to lose someone so quickly. No preparation. Though that also happens with
    accidents. Sending you a hug, Beth

  5. This was moving and feels like I really missed out on knowing someone very special. There aren’t many left in the world. I mean we know she had great taste you were her friend. Sorry love.

  6. Beverly says:

    A lovely eulogy, Carol. She was all that and more. Thanks for remembering her so warmly and beautifully.

    • I’m so glad you saw it, Beverly. i know how she blessed all who knew her far better than I. Some people just touch me, though, and she did. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They brought tears to my eyes. She really was all that and more.

  7. Kathy says:

    Thank you for sharing your story about your friend and all her inspirations Sending peace and comfort💗

  8. Pam Usher says:

    Sending love an light! Celebrating the life of your beautiful friend now ur guardian Angel

  9. Laurie Stone says:

    What a beautiful tribute to your friend. Somewhere she’s smiling.

  10. Donna says:

    This has happened with alarming frequency. So many people I know have simply died. One friend walked into her bathroom and just died.
    So many with cancer, my brother is now in remission, but he will battle cancer until he travels through the veil.
    And my son just showed me an article from the newspaper of a man he played with in college who killed 2 people. Hung them on gym equipment. Wow, that’s too graphic

  11. Alana says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. A childhood friend of mine lost her life partner yesterday after his four year battle with cancer. So I’ve been thinking today, and I thought – what if I had been given a month? Some of us are granted only minutes or seconds. Your post was so timely.

  12. Diane says:

    A beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul. I’m so glad to have had a glimpse of her through your words, Carol. These are the lives we need to share!

1 Pings/Trackbacks for "Leaving this world of ours too soon, but with so much grace"
  1. […] Some are here to inspire so that we may aspire, like the friend I wrote about HERE. […]

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