You don’t have to like everyone

May 21, 2013
Some people specialize in one-upsmanship. About everything.

Some people specialize in one-upsmanship. About everything.

Reluctantly, I’ve come to realize that there are some people I just do not like.

Oh, I want to.  But sometimes it’s just not possible.

Maybe they’re not very warm and fuzzy.  Or maybe they always have to do you one better. About everything. You know, if you’ve been to a performance, they’ve seen it three times, including once in Germany and maybe even know the artist.  Maybe they’re always giving subtle little passive-aggressive digs that they think  you don’t recognize.  Maybe they don’t even realize it, themselves.  Maybe they’re envious.

The root of all this behavior is insecurity, I know. I can feel it.

Sure, maybe I understand where they’re coming from and perhaps even feel compassion for them.  I used to think that understanding them meant that I should still spend time with them.

As I’ve gotten older, I’m a little less tolerant of this kind of thing. It’s ok to not like someone, I realize, even though I might feel sorry for them.  But, as I’ve learned, feeling compassion doesn’t mean I have to force myself into unpleasant situations.

Life is short. When it comes to how I spend my time, well, I’d rather spend it with people I enjoy.

It’s just common sense.


5 comments on “You don’t have to like everyone
  1. One of the privileges of being over 50 is learning to remove people who are toxic to you, make you feel uncomfortable or you simply don’t like. I”m still learning this lesson; it’s a hard one. I’m working on it!

    I value feeling good about myself more than having people I meet be around me who are arrogant, idiots or mean. Recently I met some more, and I keep my distance.

    I thank you for writing this, and agree with you wholeheartedly!

  2. DarleneMAM says:

    “Unlikeable” people seem to be everywhere, which means that we must have a world full of insecure and/or unhappy people. That makes me sad, but it doesn’t mean that I have to hang out with them. It’s an ongoing lesson for me: If I don’t “like” someone then I need to politely walk away.

  3. Ellen Dolgen says:

    by this time in our lives, we know what we are looking for in people to spend time with – nothing wrong with making sure you enjoy them!

  4. Tamara T. says:

    This is a lesson my husband and I had to learn early when dealing with certain members of his extended family. Sometimes you just need to walk away. There is no ill will, just a desire to keep my own life as sane and drama free as possible. I wish them well, just well away from me and mine.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Follow Carol


Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.


I love comments, so if something resonates with you in any way, don’t hesitate to leave a comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by–oh, and why not subscribe so you don’t miss a single post?


Subscribe to my Blog

Receive notifications of my new blog posts directly to your email.