Are there people in your world that just don’t like you? It’s OK if there are. After all, not everyone will like everyone. But even if we know this intellectually, our feelings are another story. It’s natural to feel hurt and to want to waver off course, off of our true north.
I know this because I can be a little bit of an acquired taste, at least for some. And as I have said before, like Popeye, “I yam what I yam and that’s all I can be.”
A few months ago, I ran across this excerpt from a book by Rebecca Campbell called Light is the New Black:
You are not for everyone
The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is also filled with those will love you fiercely.
They are your people.
You are not for everyone and that’s OK. Talk to the people who can hear you.
Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won’t ever want what you’re selling. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will likely inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on and continue along your way.
Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheapen this gift by rolling yours in the wrong direction.
Keep facing your true north.
~Rebecca Campbell in Light is the New Black
While it’s good reality-check ourselves and our behavior, we don’t always have to change to “fit in” or for someone to like us. There’s no need to defend or justify ourselves. Sometimes, we’re just not a match for the other person.
Keep facing your true north is brilliant advice for anyone, at any age.
Amen! I just stepped away from a 30 year friendship because we have grown apart, and she’s not loaning me positive energy. She’s doing the frenemy thing. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Thanks for articulating the concept so aptly.
Wonderful and encouraging post. So true! Not everyone is going to like you but always stay true to yourself, not matter what people think. There will always be people who will love you unconditionally.
If everyone likes you, there’s something weird going on. I appreciate strong personalities and opinions – and those kinds of people are not universally well-liked.
Thank you Carol. Yes, we must keep our sights on our true north!
Not being a match … it can be tough, so I’d like to add to what Haralee says above: It takes courage to be “an acquired taste”. It’s a lot easier to simply do what it takes to “fit in”; it’s not a road for the faint of heart.
Totally agree. I used to always worry about how others pictured me and bend over backwards often to please. It took a few decades for it to get into my head that I cannot make everyone happy and some people would always think bad of me. Now… I do face my own north and it is honestly totally liberating.
This is so true. I never fit in as a kid and as I started a family and grew into myself I discovered it’s ok not to fit in. Most of those who don’t bend over backward to be in the ‘in’ crowd become leaders. I’d rather be a leader than a follower.
b
Yes, that is true. There’s a difference though between treating someone badly and having an honest difference in personality. I know far too many people who behave badly and then say, well, that’s just me.
Plenty of people don’t like me. That’s OK. A few others do and they’re who count. The older I get the less if s people pleaser I become. Life’s too short.
I wholeheartedly agree. As a recovering people pleaser, I am learning the joy and freedom in being true to myself–and surrounding myself with the people who value me for being me. Thanks for the affirmation!
Really like that phrase – I may adopt it! There comes a point when we have to accept that we’re all different and that is our gift. If we were liked by everyone that means we are vanilla. Bland.
Yes! Either accept me for who I am or excuse yourself out of my life. That is fine with me. I used to want everyone to like me… boy can that be exhausting. No more. I love myself and if you don’t love me… bye bye. Great post!
You’re right that it’s easy to accept intellectually….but emotionally it’s not always so easy!! But we are better if we concentrate on what is good for us—people or things! jodie http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I can honestly say and which you will probably not believe me but have never wanted to fit in…even in high school, in HS I remember my friend wanted to hang out and be cool with some kids and I was actually bored out of my mind and wanted to go home and get on my family computer lol!
I love the truth of this. It took me a long time to get that message and now I finally did and don’t much give a hoot about the folks that don’t like me. I only care about the ones that do! I am in love with the few last lines of your post – Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheapen this gift by rolling yours in the wrong direction. – wow! That needs to be quoted on a beautiful image. Thanks for sharing this Carol love it!
I must admit that I’m growing in this area. I still sometimes let the fact that I may not be liked bother me. But I’m getting better at ignoring them. Like you rightly pointed out, it is best to find my true north and stay there.
This is awesome, and I agree wholeheartedly. Alas, it took me 30 years to figure out that not everyone had to like me. I spent (wasted) so much time trying to fit in with people who, at the end, I didn’t even really like. How silly is that?! It really is a huge breath of relief to figure out it’s okay if someone doesn’t like me. It’s okay if I don’t like someone. It doesn’t make either of us bad people (generally)…just different.
I like that. You are not for everyone. It’s so true that you need surround yourself with ‘your people’. We definitely need people who will support us and not tear us down in our life.
This is a great reminder. I saw something this week (and I’ll clean it up for here) that says something about I can’t please everyone, but watch how quickly I can tick them off. That’s so true. Be yourself and you’ll be so much happier. Thanks for sharing your post at the Over the Moon Link Party.
There comes a time when one has to let go. At other times one needs to walk away. No fair or foul either which way. Sometimes two people’s true north just isn’t in sync. What a lovely expression….point your personal compass to your true north:)
I love this, because diversity and temperaments make the world go round! If I met myself on the street, I’m not sure I would like me, LOL! I’m too old for high school relationship game playing. People come and go in our lives and that is how it should be!
To try to mold ourselves into what we think more people will like will ultimately make us miserable. It’s definitely best to be who we are and the people who appreciate that will come.
Oh I just remembered, in this version there is a glitch where if you stand between blocks. (Note you have to be standing on the line between blocks) and bury half of yourself in gravel/sand by dropping it down you will be able to see through the world, easy way to find diamonds and valuable caves.
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Amen! I just stepped away from a 30 year friendship because we have grown apart, and she’s not loaning me positive energy. She’s doing the frenemy thing. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Thanks for articulating the concept so aptly.
I have the same thing going on.
Sweet Brown!
Is that code for something, Tam? LOL
Wonderful and encouraging post. So true! Not everyone is going to like you but always stay true to yourself, not matter what people think. There will always be people who will love you unconditionally.
Thank you!
Yes, always. 😉
It is great advice! I have found those of the acquired taste genre are usually the ones with the biggest hearts.
What an interesting (and terrific) observation, Haralee!
If everyone likes you, there’s something weird going on. I appreciate strong personalities and opinions – and those kinds of people are not universally well-liked.
How true that is.
Thank you Carol. Yes, we must keep our sights on our true north!
Not being a match … it can be tough, so I’d like to add to what Haralee says above: It takes courage to be “an acquired taste”. It’s a lot easier to simply do what it takes to “fit in”; it’s not a road for the faint of heart.
Don’t I know it.
Totally agree. I used to always worry about how others pictured me and bend over backwards often to please. It took a few decades for it to get into my head that I cannot make everyone happy and some people would always think bad of me. Now… I do face my own north and it is honestly totally liberating.
Love this, Carol. What a beautiful post.
And not only do I love it, I believe it so so much.
This is so true. I never fit in as a kid and as I started a family and grew into myself I discovered it’s ok not to fit in. Most of those who don’t bend over backward to be in the ‘in’ crowd become leaders. I’d rather be a leader than a follower.
b
Yes, that is true. There’s a difference though between treating someone badly and having an honest difference in personality. I know far too many people who behave badly and then say, well, that’s just me.
Plenty of people don’t like me. That’s OK. A few others do and they’re who count. The older I get the less if s people pleaser I become. Life’s too short.
I wholeheartedly agree. As a recovering people pleaser, I am learning the joy and freedom in being true to myself–and surrounding myself with the people who value me for being me. Thanks for the affirmation!
Can you imagine the inverse? What if everyone liked you? What a pain that would be.
Really like that phrase – I may adopt it! There comes a point when we have to accept that we’re all different and that is our gift. If we were liked by everyone that means we are vanilla. Bland.
Very inspirational.
Yes! Either accept me for who I am or excuse yourself out of my life. That is fine with me. I used to want everyone to like me… boy can that be exhausting. No more. I love myself and if you don’t love me… bye bye. Great post!
You’re right that it’s easy to accept intellectually….but emotionally it’s not always so easy!! But we are better if we concentrate on what is good for us—people or things! jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I can honestly say and which you will probably not believe me but have never wanted to fit in…even in high school, in HS I remember my friend wanted to hang out and be cool with some kids and I was actually bored out of my mind and wanted to go home and get on my family computer lol!
Oh I do believe you! 😉
I love the truth of this. It took me a long time to get that message and now I finally did and don’t much give a hoot about the folks that don’t like me. I only care about the ones that do! I am in love with the few last lines of your post – Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheapen this gift by rolling yours in the wrong direction. – wow! That needs to be quoted on a beautiful image. Thanks for sharing this Carol love it!
I must admit that I’m growing in this area. I still sometimes let the fact that I may not be liked bother me. But I’m getting better at ignoring them. Like you rightly pointed out, it is best to find my true north and stay there.
It took me years to learn this, and to find my true north. It’s wonderful once you learn this lesson – usually. Sometimes, I forget.
my true north is whatever the Bible (and the will of the Heavenly Father) say for my life…
This is awesome, and I agree wholeheartedly. Alas, it took me 30 years to figure out that not everyone had to like me. I spent (wasted) so much time trying to fit in with people who, at the end, I didn’t even really like. How silly is that?! It really is a huge breath of relief to figure out it’s okay if someone doesn’t like me. It’s okay if I don’t like someone. It doesn’t make either of us bad people (generally)…just different.
“Keep facing your true north.” Perfect.
I always say I don’t care if people don’t like me, but you are right, it still hurts. I love this post.
I want to read that book! I spent a lot of time in my younger days worrying about what others thought.
I like that. You are not for everyone. It’s so true that you need surround yourself with ‘your people’. We definitely need people who will support us and not tear us down in our life.
This is a great reminder. I saw something this week (and I’ll clean it up for here) that says something about I can’t please everyone, but watch how quickly I can tick them off. That’s so true. Be yourself and you’ll be so much happier. Thanks for sharing your post at the Over the Moon Link Party.
As usual, this is brilliant advice. Thank you. I needed this.
There comes a time when one has to let go. At other times one needs to walk away. No fair or foul either which way. Sometimes two people’s true north just isn’t in sync. What a lovely expression….point your personal compass to your true north:)
I love this, because diversity and temperaments make the world go round! If I met myself on the street, I’m not sure I would like me, LOL! I’m too old for high school relationship game playing. People come and go in our lives and that is how it should be!
What a great encouraging post!!I love myself and if you don’t love me, I don’t care!
Just the encouragement I need now! I should spend my energy on taking care of myself rather than thinking about people who don’t love me!
Our feelings certainly do lie to us. It is when we act in behavior because of the feelings that they become issues. Great post.
To try to mold ourselves into what we think more people will like will ultimately make us miserable. It’s definitely best to be who we are and the people who appreciate that will come.
Thanks for sharing this inspirational post at INSPIRE ME MONDAY link party. I hope to see there again this Monday. Hugs!!! http://www.farmhouse40.com
Oh I just remembered, in this version there is a glitch where if you stand between blocks. (Note you have to be standing on the line between blocks) and bury half of yourself in gravel/sand by dropping it down you will be able to see through the world, easy way to find diamonds and valuable caves.