Staring down into the big empty tub of my brand new Whirlpool washer, I am hugely intimidated. It’s empty because there is no agitator.
Recognizing the confusion that would ensue among women of my generation, there are numerous instructional materials to which I can refer. Including these nicely illustrated “directions for idiots.”

I qualify.

In this new world of kitchen appliances, decades-long technology has been scrapped for new and improved. The agitator-less washing machine is gentler on clothes, they say. Fewer moving parts, of course. And way more room for the wash.

I couldn’t go so far as to buy a front-loading washer. My memory of flooding my Rome apartment with one in 2005 are still too fresh. Also, the front-loader design is a bit of a scam. If you want to be sure you don’t have to crawl on the floor to load and unload your washer AND dryer, you have to spend an additional $400-600 for “pedestals.”

Of course, that begs the question of why these appliances weren’t simply designed on a pedestal. {We know why: an additional chance to get money out of us.}

But I did go for this new-school top loader that looks and operates distinctly differently from the washing machines I’ve had in the past.

And I actually will read the manual.

Or laundry will pile up.