If you ask most people whether they lie, they’ll insist they don’t.  And in a way, they’re right—many of us aren’t in the habit of telling big, bold lies to others.

But to ourselves? That’s a different story.

Self-deception is one of humanity’s favorite coping mechanisms, isn’t it?

We tell ourselves we’re “fine” when we’re actually heartbroken. We convince ourselves we “don’t mind” being treated poorly because confronting it would be uncomfortable. We insist “things will get better on their own” because the alternative—taking action—feels daunting.

These little internal fibs–the distorted ways we read the room– might seem harmless. After all, they can help us get through the day, avoid unpleasant truths, and maintain a fragile peace. But over time, they can quietly erode our lives.

When we lie to ourselves, we prevent growth. We stay in bad jobs, unhealthy relationships, or self-destructive habits far longer than we should. We build entire stories around why we “can’t” change instead of facing the fact that change is possible—just scary.

Self-deception also blinds us to opportunities. If we tell ourselves we’re “too old,” “too busy,” or “not good enough,” we won’t see the doors opening right in front of us.

Facing the truth—especially about ourselves—takes courage. It’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s painful. But it’s also liberating. The moment we stop pretending is the moment we can start making real, meaningful change.

So here’s a gentle challenge: catch yourself in the next self-lie. Notice it without judgment. Then ask, If I admitted the truth to myself right now, what could I do differently?

Because in the end, the truth may sting, but the lies we tell ourselves can can keep us from living the life we’re meant to live.