I’ve run across a number of cringeworthy situations recently where people fail to “read the room.”

What does that mean?

It means understanding the vibe of the person or people with whom you’re speaking.

Even if the signals are unspoken, people show us multiple clear cues as to their mood and thinking, variables that impact their receptivity at any particular moment. Body language, facial expression, tone of voice or even what they’ve said just minutes before can tell us a lot.

Some of us find it easier than others to read unspoken cues. I usually get the vibe, I do. But I don’t always take it into account.

Still, I always wince when I encounter those who seem unable to pick up the vibe of the room or the other person, because it seems so obvious to me.

Reading the room requires us to be good listeners. We must have super-focus on what they’re saying, and not our own agenda.  To those who can’t read the room? What is going on with others simply doesn’t register. They feel compelled to get out their own message regardless of how it’s coming across.

Assessing the situation? It doesn’t occur to them.

Why is it important to read the room?

Because effective communication requires us to assess the audience and adapt our message or behavior accordingly. It’s an important social skill.

Not too long ago I watched someone continually push a person who was clearly (to me, anyway) overloaded on a team project.

That person  kept calling and messaging and pushing, because they had an agenda and they were going to satisfy it–no matter what was going on with the other.The timing was inappropriate, the message was way too much for the load the recipient was already carrying.

A more effective strategy would’ve been to take the overloaded person into account and then adjust their own behavior accordingly. That’s the only way they would connect with the other.

The ability to read the room is an under-rated skill, don’t you think?

Actually, what do you think? I’d love to know.