Let’s just admit it: self-interest drives more of human behavior than we like to acknowledge.

Scratch the surface of almost any decision, and you’ll find “what’s in it for me” hiding underneath.

Politicians dress it up as patriotism or even something else. Let’s take Marjorie Taylor’s Green’s sudden support of the Epstein abuse survivors a few months back, and those who lauded her for this. But wait. Suddenly, she’s speaking out? After years and years and the suicide of his main accuser? We may not know what her self-interest is at this point, but that’s what’s driving her behavior. I’m sure of it.

During early Covid I heard restauranteurs complain about shutdowns. They weren’t worried about their customers’ being exposed to a disease we knew little about at the start. They were more concerned for themselves.

(Meanwhile, I know a restauranteur who instantly pivoted. He started a takeout option instead and his loyal customers  lined up during the whole shutdown. He got it.  And his restaurant is still going strong. As I write this, he’s feeding the hungry whose SNAP benefits were denied.)

Corporations call it “shareholder value.” Even in personal relationships, how often are we motivated by the comfort, safety, or image it gives us—rather than pure care for the other person? (I plead guilty.)

That’s not to say all self-interest is bad. It keeps us alive, ambitious, striving. But here’s the truth:

Much of the harm in our world comes from self-interest disguised as virtue. Leaders wage wars in the name of freedom, when what they really want is power or resources. Companies tout “innovation” while gutting communities to feed executive bonuses. Even in friendships, people sometimes “support” others in ways that really serve their own need to feel important.

We don’t like to see ourselves this way, so we rationalize. We spin stories. We wrap self-serving choices in the language of the greater good. And that’s where the real danger lies—because it makes selfishness look noble.

Maybe the first step toward a healthier society is radical honesty about our motives. What if we admitted, out loud: “This benefits me, too”? What if we demanded the same honesty from leaders, companies, and institutions?

Because until we confront how much self-interest drives behavior, we’ll keep being fooled—by others, and by ourselves.