Friends are astonished that we have put a deposit down on a retirement community-–even those our age.

“Why are you doing that now?” they ask. “It’s too early! You two are young!”

We are 74 and 77.

We are not young. We are aging. And it is not too early.

“Why would you go into a retirement community?” some ask, as if moving to a continuing care community is a fate worse than death.

It’s astonishing how many people live as if aging is optional. They blow through money, skip making wills, avoid retirement planning, and act like frailty is something reserved for “other people.” The denial runs so deep, you’d think they believe they’ve made a secret deal with time itself.

But here’s the truth: you will get older. Your body will change. One day, you won’t bounce back as fast, you’ll need more care, and decisions you never thought about will suddenly land on your plate—or worse, on your loved ones’ shoulders. Pretending otherwise isn’t just naïve. It’s reckless.

When people dodge the reality of aging, they leave chaos in their wake. Families are forced to scramble in crisis. Financial resources dry up too soon. Health care choices get made in panic instead of with clarity. All because someone chose the comfort of denial over the discomfort of planning.

And what’s worse–decisions you do not want made can become unavoidable and sometimes must be made for you by others who might not have your wishes in mind.

Let’s be clear: refusing to face aging and prepare doesn’t make you youthful. It makes you irresponsible. If you want to live fully and leave behind something better than a mess for your family, stop indulging in the fantasy that you’re immune to time.

We’ve never been people who want to be taken out of their homes feet first. In fact, we think it’s kind of crazy to not make plans ‘just in case.’

Part of it is that my generation was raised with grandparents in old-fashioned nursing homes. Many of us remember the smells and the hopeless vibe. But that’s not today’s reality in all places. Today’s skilled nursing facilities are very different from those our grandparents experienced.

We found an amazing community with a solid active adult component. It’s got a wood shop, metal shop, weaving studio, tv studio, lapidary shop (among other things), a huge aquatic center, gyms scattered throughout the property and optional groups and activities that we like. Living options include single family homes, duplexes, quads, multiplexes and apartment. Something for everyone.

We know people in the area and even some who are also on the waiting list. People are entering younger and younger, we learned. There’s also assisted living on site, if and when we need it. And skilled nursing, if that day comes. Because it does come for many of us, no matter how we might want to deny it.

It’s so appealing to us that we’d go now if we could. And it feels good to have directed our own futures.

Aging is coming for you whether you like it or not. The only question is: will you meet it prepared—or will you let denial or even delusion dictate the ending of your story?