If only they looked this good. They don’t.

If there were a category for “most boring reality show, The Double Lives of Suburban Wives would win, hands down. I don’t watch ALL reality programming featuring women. But I have been a fan of the various Bravo “housewives” franchises, which enticed me to watch a few episodes of this show (on TLC).

It was a trip to Dullsville.

The premise is that these regular Missouri women in their 20s and 30s secretly make adult online content. They earn somewhere between a half million to a million bucks a year doing this.

Sounds titillating, right?  I’m pretty sure producers were counting on the salacious nature of the premise drawing viewers. Well, let me tell you about it.

Reality bites!

The women are pretty average looking and seem to have pretty below average IQs. So no surprise–their conversations are devastatingly dull. As are their husbands, some of whom are also online content creators.

That’s just for starters. I could barely keep awake for the first episode. Not even when several got kicked out of the gym. The women inferred that they were ousted because of their content creation, but I’m certain it was because they had a TLC camera crew with them. (I’m already snoring.)

But what WAS amusing (and predictable) was when one of the “Christian” women got kicked out of her church, the church she loved. Yes, she was a member of one of those congregations who couldn’t be less Christ-like. Loved those shots of her in the pew looking all holy. And then going back to her house to make adult content.

Yeah, crazy world we live in.

Did I say it was boring?

The show is dull.

Turns out, though, that it’s outrageous in another way, a way that perhaps TLC network producers hadn’t counted on. Or ignored.

Most of these women have kids. Some teens, others much younger. While the “housewives” are busy reciting scripted lines about their concern at backlash their kids will get, they are actually exposing themselves and their families to that backlash. They are practically guaranteeing their kids will be mocked and made fun of.

If these women confined their public efforts to the internet, it would limit the audience. But. They are now featured on the TLC network, open to the world to see and that world includes their childrens’ friends. We all know how kids can be. Now imagine them learning that a classmate’s mom is making adult content for the internet.

I rest my case.

But it gets even crazier.

Two of the women were teachers who were busted by school administration. Big headlines, too. I was so puzzled as these former teachers bemoaned the loss of their profession, their “true mission in life”. What in heaven’s name did they think was going to happen? Did they think school administration and other parents would be tickled pink to have adult content creators teaching their kids? Have they never heard of morals clauses? Are we supposed to feel sorry for them?

So here’s what I think.

• People who want to make adult online content should do that, taking all possible steps to keep it from their children. All steps to protect their kids.
• Parents who are making adult content should not succumb to the allure of reality television contracts which ensure their kids’ friends see the show and find out about the content.
• Teachers who make adult content and are shocked to be fired when discovered are not smart enough to be teachers.

Got thoughts? Share them below!