As I write this we’ve just lost both Dolly Parton and Gloria Steinem, two women who helped shape our generation.
Why do I feel such grief?
It hits differently when a cultural icon dies. The grief can seem strangely disproportionate to the relationship we actually had with them. We had no personal relationship with them. They were “celebrities”. And yet, these deaths hit hard. Personally.
Pieces of us
When I thought about it, I realized that they carried pieces of us with them.
A Dolly Parton song takes us back to a relationship, a family event, a concert. Gloria Steinem’s distinctive look that just brimmed with intelligence always took me back to the 1970s and how the air was electric with change. And hope.
These women and other cultural icons of our generation were the soundtrack and scenery of our becoming. It seemed as though they would always be there.
Until they weren’t.
When they die, we are reminded that the world they belonged to — our world — is also disappearing.. And one day, we will disappear, too. And suddenly, we feel the passage of time and our own mortality in a way that we can not ignore.
So when one of our cultural icons dies, maybe our grief isn’t just about their loss.
Life passing
It’s about recognizing how much of our life has passed. We’re mourning them, but also ourselves.
The younger selves who loved them. The world we inhabited then. The years we thought would last forever.
They didn’t.
And we won’t.
Which is very difficult to take in.
So yes, I have to take a moment, and you probably do, too. Hope you’ll share your thoughts, below.
Beautifully said. Our culture forces us to stay young, but it does not hurt us to cling to aspects of the past. They formed us and are part of us. Gloria will always be part of us.. her strength and her courage.
This is spot on! I think these deaths surprise us because being the icons they are, we just assume they will be around forever When they pass, it reminds us of our own aging and motality
The idea that cultural icons carry pieces of our own memories with them really stood out to me. Their passing can bring back an entire season of life and remind us just how quickly time moves.
It always seems so strange when a celebrity or icon passes away. I feel like it’s odd to mourn when I didn’t know them personally, but, as you said, they can be someone who shaped things in my life, so it does matter.
You are so right. Icons become part of our lives and their music connects to so many memories growing up. When they pass, it genuinly hurts because they were part of our lives. A good reminder to appreciate every minute, because time goes way too fast.
I was also really sad to hear about their passing. They will definitely be missed, but their legacy and the impact they made will always be remembered. ❤️
I’ve felt that sensation when an artist or prominent figure from my generation has passed away; it’s as if a part of your life and your memories is gone.
Thanks for this piece and the idea that we are also mourning the younger selves who loved them, not just the public figures, explains why those losses can feel so out of proportion.
I admired both Dolly and Gloria during their lifetime for their contributions to the greater good of society.
I didn’t grow up listening to Dolly’s music but had a few favorites that crossed the popular music line.
My most recent favorite is a gospel song she redid with King and Country called “God only Knows.”
As for Gloria, I remember meeting her in the changing room at a fundraising shopping event at the Armory in Manhattan. We chatted about women and clothes and then, I looked at her and said,”You look like Gloria Steinam!” She laughed out loud and confirmed it was she.
Only in NY can you speak with someone famous for a few minutes and not even know they are a celebrity. We had a good laugh over that. She was warm, gracious and friendly.
May they both Rest in Peace 💔 🙏🏾 🕊
Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.
I love comments, so if something resonates with you in any way, don’t hesitate to leave a comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by–oh, and why not subscribe so you don’t miss a single post?
Beautifully said. Our culture forces us to stay young, but it does not hurt us to cling to aspects of the past. They formed us and are part of us. Gloria will always be part of us.. her strength and her courage.
Apparently she was also about joy and humor. 92 is a good old age and she stayed fairly well, although frail in that last interview.
What a great way of looking at it.
This is spot on! I think these deaths surprise us because being the icons they are, we just assume they will be around forever When they pass, it reminds us of our own aging and motality
Yep. And who wants to be reminded that we, too, will pass one day?
The idea that cultural icons carry pieces of our own memories with them really stood out to me. Their passing can bring back an entire season of life and remind us just how quickly time moves.
Yes, and it resonates so deeply with us.
It always seems so strange when a celebrity or icon passes away. I feel like it’s odd to mourn when I didn’t know them personally, but, as you said, they can be someone who shaped things in my life, so it does matter.
You are so right. Icons become part of our lives and their music connects to so many memories growing up. When they pass, it genuinly hurts because they were part of our lives. A good reminder to appreciate every minute, because time goes way too fast.
Yes, if only we understood this when younger.
I was also really sad to hear about their passing. They will definitely be missed, but their legacy and the impact they made will always be remembered. ❤️
I’ve felt that sensation when an artist or prominent figure from my generation has passed away; it’s as if a part of your life and your memories is gone.
Icons become important because they help us understand ourselves and the world. They say things that make us stop and think.
Thanks for this piece and the idea that we are also mourning the younger selves who loved them, not just the public figures, explains why those losses can feel so out of proportion.
Yes, that is it, exactly!
I admired both Dolly and Gloria during their lifetime for their contributions to the greater good of society.
I didn’t grow up listening to Dolly’s music but had a few favorites that crossed the popular music line.
My most recent favorite is a gospel song she redid with King and Country called “God only Knows.”
As for Gloria, I remember meeting her in the changing room at a fundraising shopping event at the Armory in Manhattan. We chatted about women and clothes and then, I looked at her and said,”You look like Gloria Steinam!” She laughed out loud and confirmed it was she.
Only in NY can you speak with someone famous for a few minutes and not even know they are a celebrity. We had a good laugh over that. She was warm, gracious and friendly.
May they both Rest in Peace 💔 🙏🏾 🕊
What a great story, Elizabeth!