As I write this we’ve just lost both Dolly Parton and Gloria Steinem, two women who helped shape our generation.

Why do I feel such grief?

It hits differently when a cultural icon dies. The grief can seem strangely disproportionate to the relationship we actually had with them. We had no personal relationship with them. They were “celebrities”. And yet, these deaths hit hard. Personally.

Pieces of us

When I thought about it, I realized that they carried pieces of us with them.

A Dolly Parton song takes us back to a relationship, a family event, a concert. Gloria Steinem’s distinctive look that just brimmed with intelligence  always took me back to the 1970s and how the air was electric with change. And hope.

These women and other cultural icons of our generation were the soundtrack and scenery of our becoming. It seemed as though they would always be there.

Until they weren’t.

When they die, we are reminded that the world they belonged to  — our world — is also disappearing.. And one day, we will disappear, too.  And suddenly, we feel the passage of time and our own mortality in a way that we can not ignore.

So when one of our cultural icons dies, maybe our grief isn’t just about their loss.

Life passing

It’s about recognizing how much of our life has passed. We’re mourning them, but also ourselves.

The younger selves who loved them.  The world we inhabited then.  The years we thought would last forever.

They didn’t.

And we won’t.

Which is very difficult to take in.

So yes, I have to take a moment, and you probably do, too. Hope you’ll share your thoughts, below.