How to Be Your Own Advocate in the Hospital

Hospitals can be intimidating places. The language, the pace, the constant rotations of staff—it’s easy to feel small and powerless when you’re in a gown instead of your street clothes. But one of the most important things you can do for your health is to learn how to advocate for yourself while you’re there.

Being your own advocate doesn’t mean being combative. It means being clear, confident, and informed. Here are some ways to do just that:

1. Bring a second set of ears.

If possible, have a friend or family member with you—someone who can listen, take notes, and ask questions when you’re tired or overwhelmed. Illness and pain make it hard to process information, and having another person there ensures important details don’t slip away.

I’ve played this role quite a few times. First, I speak medical-speak more than the average person, since I was raised in a medical household. Also, I’m always aware of what is going on in the room–I don’t miss much in a hospital.

2. Ask questions—again and again.

If something isn’t clear, ask for it to be explained in plain language. Ask what a medication is for, what side effects it might have, and why it’s being prescribed and for how long. Doctors and nurses may use medical shorthand, but you’re entitled to know exactly what’s happening.

3. Speak up! Speak up!!

This is by far the most important thing you can do, and if your are too ill, your “person” should do this for you. If something feels wrong, say so. If you notice a pill looks different than usual, ask before you take it. If your pain isn’t being managed, tell someone. Nurses and doctors are human—mistakes happen. Your voice can be the safety net.

A loved one was in the hospital recently and the walls were covered with entreaties for patients to be part of their own medical team. I wish this weren’t so to the degree necessary in this particular facility, but it’s a good point.

4. Don’t be afraid of being “difficult.”

You’re not there to win a popularity contest. You’re there to get well. A polite but firm question—or refusal—may be the very thing that protects your health.  This is so important!

I know people who went years with misdiagnoses because they were reluctant to get a second opinion for fear of offending their doctor. As a result, they are now severely disabled. It’s your right to get the best care possible and second opinions are just part of good medical care. Do not fear offending your physician!

5. Keep a running list.

Write down your medications, your allergies, your surgeries, your doctors. When you are admitted–even to ER– or when staff rotates, it helps to have everything at your fingertips. This list can prevent errors and save precious time.

My husband carries a list of his meds in his wallet and now I do the same.

6. Know your rights.

You have the right to refuse treatment, to ask for a second opinion, and to review your medical records. You also have the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Many hospitals have patient ombudsmen who can advocate for you.

7. Trust your instincts.

You know your body better than anyone. If you feel something is off, don’t let it be brushed aside. Keep pressing until you get the attention you need.

Remember: you are the most important member of your healthcare team. Being your own advocate in the hospital can feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to deferring to authority. But your health—and sometimes your life—depends on it.

What would you add to this list?