Most of us just move through our days, reacting to what happens around us. I do, anyway, and I don’t think I’m that different from the rest of us. But are we really living?

Let’s face it. We’re used to reacting to what goes on: to other people’s needs, to upsetting news, to our phones, to obligations, to whatever happens next. We forget we have a choice in how we meet our lives.

Living intentionally means paying attention. And most important, it means actually choosing our response. We can do that, you know.

Yes, it means noticing where our time goes, who gets our energy, what we say yes to, and what we continue doing simply because we’ve always done it. But it also means learning to pause before we react.

When something unpleasant happens, we can feel our blood pressure rise. Maybe we feel angry. Frustrated. Disappointed. Our first impulse may be to respond in the moment,  defensively, or emotionally.

Intentional living gives us another possibility: pause. Just for a moment.

We don’t always get to choose what happens to us, but we can often choose what we do with what happens. We can take a breath. We can consider the impact of our response. Or if we should respond at all.

We don’t have to suppress our feelings or become passive. We can simply refuse to hand our power over to the moment. Because we’re in control.

As we age, this can become one of life’s great lessons. We learn that not every slight requires a response, not every argument needs to be won, and not every emotion needs to become an action.

We understand the difference between reacting and responding.

Reacting is automatic.  Responding is a choice.

I am a big reactor, so this has been a huge lesson for me, one that hasn’t come easily.

Intentional living means we make more conscious choices—with our time, our relationships, our attention, our words, and our responses to the unpredictable things life puts in our path.

It isn’t about creating a perfect life. (Wouldn’t that be boring?)

It’s about being awake enough to be able to pause, then choose our responses to the life we’re actually living.