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I could not agree more Carol! I have unfollowed several people on fb because I got so tired of their opinions being so “liberally” expressed. Think what you like but don’t put it out there to add to the ugliness of the world please. Live and let live is my mantra now days 🙂
Yes, too much judgment out there and so easy online.
I was just talking about this sort of thing with my nine-year-old this morning. On an age preference level but I am praying if we start teaching them young perhaps someday some of this will stop.
It is a challenge to raise kids in this environment.
Thanks for this! I’m surprised (and ashamed) how often a shaming response enters my head. I think our society has written a script for us that makes shaming an easy go-to way of thinking. I’ve been getting more and more careful about what comes out my mouth and fingers because I really want to change hearts and minds, not build barriers. This post is a good reminder of how I want to be!
We have become so polarized it really IS natural. Sadly.
Well said, Carol. Bottom line is that we just don’t know what’s going on in a person’s life/head, or why they are the way they are or have made the choices that they have, and shaming will almost certainly hurt more than it helps. Let’s just all be kind!
Yes, kindness is so important!
I agree 100% Carol!
I agree Carol. I think self deprecating can open the door for some shaming from others while of course it can not. Thanks for bringing back the word “Boor”. I haven’t heard it in a while and I think I have opportunity to use it more than some cruder, boorish expressions.
Sadly, so do I. ;0(
It saddens me when I read shaming comments. I feel badly for the person doing it, as clearly they do not love themselves :<( and I feel sad that they are not able to be loving :<(. Great post!
It just plain mean! Sadly, there a quite a few mean people out there!
I agree 100%…and yet I also know I have been guilty of this as well. There are times I respond only to realize AFTERWARDS that I was responding with shame. I have learned a LOT about shame and its consequences, both personally and globally through reading/listening to Brene’ Brown. She has great resources for not only identifying shame and/or shame based responses, but also how to change ones thinking to be more positive.
I LOVE how she clearly defines the difference between shame and guilt:
Guilt: you have done something wrong
Shame: you ARE wrong
I wish I had realized this when I was a young/new parent. But…we can always learn from our mistakes AND from awesome posts like this!
Such a relief to see this. Very well said Carol.
I’m glad you brought this up (like always). I just saw a utube video of a woman ‘shaming’ what she perceives as fat people- and she’s gone viral! It was so disturbing and thoughtless and cruel. No one EVER helped anyone by making them feel bad about themselves.
When I first started with Facebook I had no idea how far reaching my comments were. I really didn’t think people read what I posted…then I hurt someones feelings when I thought I was just being funny. I reassessed right away. Now I see how they felt when I read derogatory things about my religion, or my political leanings…they have become the new racism. I am sure they would never believe it was the same, but it is. I am very, very careful about what I say and I am sure I still offend some folks. I hope people listen to you
I agree with you! The shaming that I dislike the most is the “discipline” Shaming. Parents, teachers, caregivers etc need to understand this shaming does more harm than good.
I totally agree. I don’t even like the dog shaming photos that are supposed to be funny.