Liminal space and aging

December 2, 2024

agingLiminal space:
the uncertain transition between where you’ve been
and where you’re going physically, emotionally, or metaphorically
.

We’re on the threshold of our next step of life–a continuing care retirement community–and we are actually excited about it. And maybe a little nervous about what comes next, all at the same time.

To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. And that’s where we are at present.

But let me back up.

It’s really strange to be in this particular liminal space–the recognition of aging and the accompanying need to choose a next step.  We’ve already been through many transitions: high school to college…marriage…divorce…moving to a new city or state.

This transition somehow feels different. More momentous.

How are we going to face these final chapters of our lives?

What do we want to do with the time remaining?

And this is the big one: How will we be taken care of if we can’t take care of ourselves?

We started asking these questions before we hit 70, but made no decisions. Put them off, actually. Even though we thought we knew what we wanted to do. What made the most sense for us. But we just weren’t ready to take even a moderate step toward that. We didn’t feel old enough, even though we were.

And now? We wish we’d gotten on the wait list for our preferred community earlier. Because we’re ready for our next step, but the community isn’t. We’re close to the bottom of a very long waiting list.

Many of our peers and those even older are putting off these decisions. Choosing not to think about it. Not wanting to face this transition. But I’ve always been pretty practical in wanting to face the realities of my life. Mostly, anyway. And this one’s no different.

I feel pretty much the same as I did at 50. But I am not 50. I have important decisions to make about next steps. We all do, even those of us who don’t want to think about them.

But I chose to think about those decisions and make them.

Not as early as I wish I had, but in enough time to still enjoy myself.

My best advice to you is Don’t wait. Make your plans early.

Because there’s no such thing as too early to plan this transition.

If you’re a senior, have you considered your next step? Why or why not?

10 comments on “Liminal space and aging
  1. I just finished watching “The Man on the Inside” on Netflix.

    This heartfelt series takes place in an upscale elder residence in San Francisco.

    It made me think about all of the issues you raise, Carol, and so much more.

  2. Alana says:

    I’ve seen the ads for A Man on the Inside, and I just might get Netflix. It interests me, especially, because it’s based on a true story. I’ve also learned, from recent experience, that it is better to plan too early than too late.

  3. Laurie Stone says:

    I’m starting to wink at 70. It’s two years away, but I can see how getting on these long waiting lists would make sense. As you said, it’s both exciting and scary.

  4. It’s all about getting plans in order NOW— and living our best life!

  5. This started getting real for me way before “my” time because of the caretaking we did for mom and my dad’s declining health. Yes… so important to come in prepared.

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