The other day I read a long social media post by someone justifying their third marriage–in great detail. They listed all the reasons and of course, the list made sense.

Because justifications almost always make sense.

Her post reminded me of how I would justify my own decisions–mostly bad ones that were really mistakes. I had my list, too, and it made just as much sense. (To me, at least.)

Living online

What struck me about this particular justification was that this person felt it was necessary. That’s because they live much of their life on their social media feeds, and you know what that means: followers must weigh in with their own opinions.

But here’s the thing: what other people think makes no difference at all.

We do not need to justify any of our decisions, good or bad. Or our mistakes. They’re ours to make and then ours to contend with after the fact. To learn from. To grow from.

Everyone’s got an opinion

The problem with living life online is that it gives tacit permission for people to opine and sometimes that feels unfair (and IS unfair) and so we feel we must “explain” when there is no need to explain.

People must be free to make their own mistakes–in fact, that’s what life is all about, isn’t it? Making mistakes and learning from them?

This reminds me of a recent conversation with someone I know who has been an excellent parent. Their children have been raised with many opportunities and because of that, have also been sheltered from some of life’s difficulties.

Not that it’s been a rose garden for them. But one child in particular hasn’t had to deal with any mistakes and feels almost invincible. It’s the arrogance of the young and I know it well because I, too, suffered from it.

Working our way through life

Fact is, though, that we don’t really mature until we’ve made some mistakes and then had to work our own way through them.

If we’re lucky, we learn and we come out stronger for the mistakes. Because when you’re young, life’s mistakes are usually not irreversible. They don’t necessarily change life forever. Yes, there are exceptions, like substance addiction and serious crime. Other things.

But heartbreak, career mistakes, relationship mistakes–you can’t avoid them forever. But you can come back from these things. And come back stronger.

Looking back over my own life, I’d say mistakes were a good thing. They taught me my best lessons, even when I needed remedial work. Which was more often than I wish it were.

And even though no one wants to go through the drama of life’s mistakes, they really are necessary for maturity. They season us. They prepare us for things that will happen later in life.

Looking back over my many decades of life, that’s probably my biggest lesson.