But it still makes you a better writer, in my opinion!
Not everyone understand the joys of solitude, either for themselves or others.
Years ago I had a friend who would get hugely pissed off when I’d withdraw and disappear for a month or so. I was just taking time for myself, to regenerate, but he took it as a personal affront.
As a writer, I like being in the world, observing and interacting, collecting data. But after a point, it’s necessary to go into the office, close the door and start writing, and that’s a very solitary activity. Sometimes, too, I just need to take a break from being out in the world with other people.
By nature, I’m an extroverted introvert. I don’t enjoy huge groups of people or parties during which I’m forced to interact with people I don’t know en masse and superficially. Getting to know people one-on-one? I love it. I don’t want to talk about the weather, or even art, music or fashion. I’m more interested in things like What makes you tick? Who are you, really? What’s important to you?
Those are the things I want to know.
Truth is, if I had a choice, I’d rather be by myself most of the time and make forays periodically out into the world.
Men don’t seem to like as much solitude as women. Maybe there are more demands on women’s time and the rarity of solitude makes it more valuable. And that when we can finally take a breather, we protect our alone time with a vengeance.
As much self-examination as I’ve done, until recently, I’d never really thought about the fact that since 1996, my relationships had been largely long-distance. I lived in two states, but the men I was with lived in only one. Lots of built in alone time that I took for granted.
Now that M and I are both (semi-) retired and at home, that solitude is a rarity. It’s not that I don’t like being with my husband–he’s great company. But I NEED that regeneration time. So when I can eke some out, I treasure it.
How about you? What’s your relationship with soltude?